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“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.”
–Ambrose Redmoon
It is my hope that today’s inspirational words will encourage you to live fearlessly. But what exactly does that mean?
No matter who you are, fear will get in your way at some point during your life. It doesn’t matter how strong, bold, powerful, smart or enlightened you are. Fear is a reality that we just can’t escape. Fearless living isn’t about taking that fear away, leaving behind some superhuman immunity to fear. It’s simply about having the courage to move through it. When your life doesn’t reach a standstill in the face of things you can’t predict, explain, rationalize, or finance; you are indeed learning to live fearlessly.
Life is meant to be the grandest of adventures. But how can you live it fully while busy running from all that you’re afraid of? I’m not suggesting that you dash outside to jump off a building. That would be an act of stupidity rather than courage. What I am suggesting is that you muster enough courage to push through fear when it stands in the way of living the life that you deserve.
Fear comes in many forms—fear of change, fear of pain, fear of success, fear of failure. The list goes on and on. However, it is important to remember that fear itself is not enough to hold you back. It is your thoughts, actions, and inaction that give fear its power. So, what can you do about it?
If you feel inspired to start your own business or change careers, to get married or become a parent, to advocate for a cause or to break free from a tradition; fear will show up. However, you can choose to draw upon your inner strength for the courage to live your best life no matter what.
You can create a plan to make your dreams come true. You can take steps in the direction of your desires. None of this will immediately erase the fear, but little by little this takes away its power. Before you know it, you will have survived something that you were almost too afraid to try. That is what it means to live fearlessly. And there is no better way to build more courage and more faith in your own abilities.
The next time you look at someone and think, “Wow…he is so brave,” I want you to remember something. Remember that the bravest among us must still face fear. Successful people are not successful because they have no fear. They are successful in spite of their fear. Heroes are not heroes because they have no fear. They are heroic because they take action in spite of their fear.
Instead of waiting to feel fearless so that you can start living fearlessly, move past the fear now. Tell yourself you can do it, decide to do it, plan to do it, and then DO IT.
The seeds of courage are within you, but you must cultivate them if you want a mighty harvest of fearless living.
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You know what the real enemy to happiness is? It’s not sadness, or failure or fear… its complacency. It’s becoming so comfortable with just being comfortable that we stop trying to make things better. We stop even trying to make things different. We go on and on, satisfied with being good enough, and we don’t realize that nothing is really all that good until we wake up one day and find ourselves miserable. Sometime before we reach that point, there are chances, windows that can be thrown open to let in some fresh air and sunlight. Changing your life doesn’t always mean turning your entire world upside down, sometimes it’s just about getting a new perspective on yourself, or the world around you.
Change your body
We spend our entire lives in the same skin. Isn’t that amazing? The one thing you truly carry with you from birth to death is your body. And our bodies can be the ultimate frenemy. They are there for us, they enable us to live and yet all the while they can be a source of resentment and struggle. But they are also something we can alter.
Our bodies will change on their own over the years, but there are plenty of developments along the way we can control. If a change of perspective is in order, why not start with your own reflection? Weight issues are battle for many of us; whether it’s losing or gaining pounds we spend far too much time agonizing over some notion of physical perfection. Or hell, screw perfection, even just something we can be proud of. Any of us can make healthier food choices and exercise a little bit more if we really want to change our bodies in that regard. And sometimes, weight loss, or gain, can be exactly the thing we need to turn our lives in a new direction. But that’s obvious. What about some of the less conspicuous options?
Look in the mirror, anything you see you can change. If you need to reinvigorate your life, maybe a cosmetic change is the way to go. I’m not talking plastic surgery, I suppose it’s an option, but again it’s obvious, and risky. I mean more like, tattoos, piercings, hair color types of changes. We tend to think of these things as rites of passage for the young. But a change in hair color can be an exciting new venture for anyone. I don’t just mean covering the grays either; I’m talking about going blonde for the first time in your life. And if age equals wisdom, is there any better time in life than mid-life to get that tattoo you’ve always thought about? You probably know yourself a lot better now than you did in your 20’s, and have a better idea of what kind of image would have sustainable significance. A belly button piercing seems like something for an 18 year old but certainly not a mother of 2, but… why not? Who cares if no one will see it but you? Whether it’s a tattoo or a navel ring, you will know and the knowledge that you did something so crazy will make you smile and it may make you wonder what other things you can do that you’ve never considered?
Change your view
My mom used to suggest when I had trouble sleeping that maybe I just needed a change of scenery, and somehow moving to the couch would always help. I doubt it was the scenery, but sometimes when we spend too long looking at the same things; they lose their meaning. That’s why sometimes the best thing you can do to change your perspective is to literally change what is right in front of you.
The way you change your surroundings can be quiet or dramatic. It can be as simple as re-arranging your furniture or as huge as buying a summer home in Cancun. Feng Shui isn’t for everybody, but a book will only cost about $10-$15 and if putting my headboard against a wall is supposed to help me sleep better, it’s worth a Saturday afternoon to give it a shot. It may work, it may not, but it’s fun to imagine that my day to day life could be affected by the placement of my bed. Ok ancient Asian arts aside, re-painting a living room, buying a new carpet, hanging new decorations or getting a new slip cover for an old couch can all drastically affect how you see your living environment. Sometimes just those changes will re-awaken us to the things we love about just being at home.
If fixing up the house isn’t going to cut it, you may have to travel around the world to find your answer. Or maybe just across town. Because the answer isn’t anywhere else, it’s in you; you just may need to go somewhere else to figure it out. The fact is nothing changes your perspective like a trip. It could be a day trip or a two-week excursion to your dream destination. Getting up, and out of your rut can be as easy as getting on a Greyhound. If you are looking for a real life-changing experience though, there’s nothing quite like experiencing a new culture for the first time. If you feel like maybe you need to be reminded of exactly how fortunate you are, try visiting a poorer country to see how the rest of the world lives away from Starbucks and Best Buy. When you see the places where children beg to braid hair to have money for food, believe me, your perspective gets a little electro-shock therapy. Suddenly your dead-end job and mediocre family car don’t seem so disappointing.
Change your resume
Speaking of jobs, the way we make our living is a major part of our identity, so if you really want to shake things up, a career change may be the answer. Granted, it’s not feasible for everyone to switch occupations. The job market isn’t exactly brimming with opportunities right now, and sometimes we can’t afford the financial sacrifices, so we have to make the best of what we have. But that’s ok. You don’t need to change jobs to change your resume. There are plenty of things we can add aside from a new title, or place of employment.
Improving yourself is always an option, but how you choose to do that is entirely up to you. I see the continuing education brochures for my local community colleges and high schools all the time. I browse through them, think “Hmm, that looks like fun” then they get lost with the junk mail and forgotten. But what if, just once, it wasn’t? Why not try that jewelry making seminar or that cooking class? The options are so endless everyone can learn a new skill that may change how we define ourselves. Some are just fun, like ball room dancing or synchronized swimming, but others like a course in real estate or tax law can be put to practical use. If a visiting a physical classroom is out of the question, online education is available 24/7 pretty much everywhere. Whether it’s getting a GED or learning Italian, it’s only as far away as your home computer.
When all else fails, a new perspective on the world isn’t just in undeveloped nations, it’s in every community in every country in the world. You have a local soup kitchen or shelter somewhere near your hometown, even if you don’t know about it. Charities all seem to come out of the woodwork at the holidays, but philanthropy is going on all year, all around you. All you have to do is look for it. Nothing will make you appreciate your own life like seeing what others live without. It will make you re-evaluate your priorities, and it’s something that can be done as a family. It may seem cruel to expose children to the more unfortunate side of the world, but the truth is it can also breed, grateful, sensitive and generous kids, who will grow into empathetic, giving adults. If you really want to love your existence again, imagine having a different one that is filled with the kinds of hardship that hundreds of thousands of people face every single day.
The power to change your life lies in you. But making the leap into something entirely new can be terrifying. So don’t force yourself to dive head first into the void. Try working up to it, you may find that a few small changes are all you need to re-invigorate your happiness. Or you may decide that you need whole-life makeover. And sometimes, you may discover that everything you need for happiness, you’ve had all along.
Janet is a writer for New Look Houston a Texas laser tattoo removal clinic. She is a blogger and freelance writer who loves to travel and re-decorate, although she’s not very good at the latter.
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Let’s face it; many people would love to be rich. Few people wouldn’t want to jet set around the world traveling, attend the most coveted premieres, drive their dream cars, lavish gifts upon their love ones, etc. However, there is limited value in even thinking about riches until you can become and stay financially solvent. Solvency isn’t about income. No matter whether you make $40,000 a year or $400,000 a year, you can still be broke. Solvency is simply your ability to meet your entire financial obligations with some money to spare. It is the degree to which your current assets exceed your current liabilities.
Solvency exists on a continuum. For example, some define their ability to meet obligations as being able to afford their credit cards, student loans, and car payments. Nonetheless, these people are generally a lot less solvent than someone who is debt-free, has a sizable emergency fund, is consistently investing, and can afford some fun. These two extremes differ profoundly but the financial vulnerability of the former scenario may only become evident during a time of financial adversity. While a great starting point, having just enough to pay ones bills today typically doesn’t provide enough of a buffer during financial crisis. As nearly 61% live from paycheck to paycheck, lack of solvency has placed many in a very risky position. If you haven’t structured your finances to decrease your economic exposure, your solvency may be very fleeting! It is imperative to build long-term financial solvency, so let’s discuss why.
No amount of experience, natural talent, or education can guarantee that you will have a job tomorrow. Thus, your only job security is your ability to get another job. It is critical to recognize the precarious position insolvent wage-earners are in. Any employee is constantly interviewing for his or her job: every single day! Use this as a motivator to make wise but sometimes painful financial decisions. It’s not about fairness, or even initial comfort, as much as it is doing what’s necessary to put your family in the best financial position. This may mean delaying or even foregoing some fun on occasion, especially while becoming solvent. For example, if the only way you can have such fun is by counting on money that you have yet to earn, then perhaps the purchases are beyond your budget at this point. Remember, future paychecks are not promised, and believing otherwise is typically evidence of denial.
Regardless of whether it is right or wrong, an uncomfortable reality is that money influences many of life’s decisions. It affects things such as whether we choose to work a job or start a business, where we live, how much we invest, and sometimes even who we marry. Additionally, the one thing that we can count on in life is change. I recall a situation where a seemingly insignificant clerical error caused six consecutive paychecks to be missed over a three month period. Being solvent in that situation made the difference between going into debt and thriving. Also, while I was paying off my debts years ago, my neighborhood HOA decided that it was time to replace the roofs. Although I had no problems with my property, we all had to fork over a sizable chunk of money unexpectedly. Although I was displeased, especially with the timing, I wrote the check and moved on.
Regardless of whether you want to have children, go back to school, or capitalize on unique business opportunities, you don’t necessarily have to derail your finances because of transient nature of life. Having long-term solvency decreases your financial risks because you have more resources available to you. Thus, when life happens, you’ll be ready.
The Rat Race refers to a pattern of behavior where we work for a living but barely make any progress financially. It’s actually a misnomer because even rats have more sense than to stay in this ridiculous model. There’s nothing wrong with having a job, but depending solely on a job for your financial provision is a very risky proposition (see Job Security Is an Illusion above). Do you long to break free from your golden (or copper) handcuffs? Then, consider that long–term solvency lays a necessary foundation to pursue independence. Financial solvency combined with consistent investing and/or running a profitable business places one in an enviable economic position where he is no longer dependant on earned income (from a single employer) for his financial provision. In short, solvency can be an invaluable foundation to your wealth plan. Embrace it!
Financial solvency can be a reflection of your sense of responsibility. True financial responsibility means you can afford to pay all of your bills in timely manner. I mention this not to place those who face hardship under condemnation. However, it is evident that some people never truly take ownership of their finances and how their decisions affect their finances. Some have incomes adequate to meet their financial obligations and invest for the future yet instead choose to spend it irresponsibly. Have you ever met someone who wears brand new tennis shoes but can not afford food or those who take vacations but cannot afford clothes and school supplies for their children? Unfortunately, financial education is often not taught, and sometimes we just prioritize badly. Nonetheless, there is real honor in financial solvency, as it indicates that maintaining your good name by respecting your commitments transcends all the other things that you could be spending your money on. Making strides towards achieving solvency reflects maturity that goes well-beyond the financial sphere.
Thus, the next time you dream a little about your financial future consider dreaming of being solvent. If you have a reasonable income and expenses, not only is solvency totally achievable, but you will likely become solvent before you become rich anyway.
Pursue solvency today, and you’ll be in a better position tomorrow 
About the Author: I’m Roshawn Watson, and I write at Watson Inc on eliminating debt, investing money, and building wealth. Get my free eBook Your Foundation to Wealth by signing up for my email updates (no spam I promise). Get my RSS feed and connect with me on Twitter @roshawnwatson too.
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A few days ago, a Facebook friend asked me if I find it difficult to have a close relationship with someone whose spiritual beliefs vary significantly from my own. Although I had a quick answer, the question sparked deeper thoughts about my reasons.
Spirituality is a very important part of my life, but I’m a long way from being the religious type. I was raised a Christian, yet I’ve evolved in ways that won’t allow me to adhere to that religion (or any other). Still, I don’t frown upon religions or those who choose to conform to one religion or another.
I seek what I call God in every person, place and thing. Whether you are Hindu, Muslim, Christian or Atheist; I’ll open my heart so that I might see in you the essence of what I call God. I am simply happy that you have something to believe in, particularly so if it brings you joy or hope.
I am not opposed to (or limited to) the Qur’an, Gita, Bible or Torah. Neither book defines me, yet I can read the contents with my heart open—again—to seek out the essence of what I call God. If I find something of value, I take it into me, intentionally leaving everything else behind.
You see, I don’t need to agree with all of a person’s spiritual beliefs in order to love or befriend them; nor do I need to agree with everything in a particular Holy book in order to find value there. I am a seeker of good, of light, of truth, of love. And I believe that what we seek determines what we find.
What I want to share with you today are examples of the good I’ve found in several religions. There are many elements of these religions that don’t align with my personal truth, but that is not the focus of this article. My intent is simple. I want you to know that, in practically anything and everything; you can find something to appreciate if you will just open your heart and mind.
Holy Book: Qur’an
“Repel (evil) with what is better. Then will he, between whom and thee was hatred, become as it were thy friend and intimate. And no one will be granted such goodness except those who exercise patience and self-restraint.” –Qur’an 41:34-35
If you’ve read anything about Islamic extremists, you may have the misconception that this religion is all about violence. Quite to the contrary, the Qur’an is filled with references that, like the quote above, promote peace. Those who exemplify peacefulness and restraint, according to several ayahs (verses), are highly favored by Allah. This is the message from Islam that most harmonizes with my beliefs.
Sacred Text: Tao Te Ching
“In dwelling, live close to the ground. In thinking, keep to the simple. In conflict, be fair and generous. In governing, don’t try to control. In work, do what you enjoy. In family life, be completely present.” –Tao Te Ching
There is so much that I love about Taoism, but its focus on simplicity is at the top of my list. Principles like living simply yet fairly, and finding solace in the little things, are vital parts of my personal self improvement plan.
Sacred Text: Kitab I Aqdas
“By its aid thou shalt see with thine own eyes and not through the eyes of others, and shalt know of thine own knowledge and not through the knowledge of thy neighbor. Ponder this in thy heart; how it behooveth thee to be. ” –Baha’u'llah
While many religions, particularly those practiced in Western society, rebuke open-mindedness in favor of blind faith; the second principle of the Bahai faith is the independent investigation of truth. Many of the writings suggest that there isn’t just one prophet or one manifestation of God, and that people should feel free to seek Truth through critical thinking, research, and the use of available resources (including other Holy books). As an open-minded seeker, this teaching completely aligns with who I am.
Sacred Texts: Vedas, Ramayana, Bhagavad Gita, and others
“The universe that we inhabit and our shared perception of it are the results of a common karma. Likewise, the places that we will experience 
in future rebirths will be the outcome of the karma that we share with the other beings living there. The actions of each of us, human or nonhuman, have contributed to the world in which we live. We all have a common responsibility for our world and are connected with everything in it.” –His Holiness Dalai Lama
If there is one thing that I absolutely love about Hinduism, it is the concept of Karma. There are times when I want to respond from a place of anger, revenge or pain; but I remind myself that every thought, word and deed has a karmic response. That often helps me to make the higher choice, even when it’s not so easy.
Sacred Text: Bible
“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies. Pray for those who persecute you. In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else?” –Matthew 5:43-47 NLV
I’ve been guilty in the past of judging Christianity by its misguided Christians; however, the truth is that I have a great appreciation for Jesus Christ’s teachings of love for all. There are many verses on love in the New Testament and the one above is a personal favorite. The very idea of loving outside your comfort zone, remembering to include those who seem unlovable, resonates with me more than anything else in the Holy Bible.
Sacred Text: Zend Avesta
“Form no covetous desire, so that the demon of greediness may not deceive thee, and the treasure of the world may not be tasteless to thee.”—Zoraster
I don’t know much about Zoroastrianism, but I was able to find something respectable with just a small amount of research. What appeals to me most are the sayings about charity and unselfish action. The teachings about not letting greed get in the way of your choices are in total alignment with who I am.
Sacred Text: Tipitaka
“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” –Buddha
Of all the spiritual practices listed here, Buddhism may be the one that I’m most comfortable with. I’m not a Buddhist, but the practices of meditation and mindfulness have had an amazingly positive influence on my life. Closing out the physical world, quieting my mind and focusing on the present moment brings me the sense of peace and calm that leads to pure internal happiness.
I’m sure many people clicked off the page before completing this article. It’s quite a touchy subject; but I appreciate every one of you whose mind is open enough to ingest information about these different religious practices.
Spiritual growth is an important part of self improvement; but it can’t be accomplished if you walk through life with a fearful, judgmental state of mind. When you are truly open and receptive to something—whether it is truth, love, spiritual growth or something less positive—you will find it. Where you seek it out is irrelevant.
Can you trust that the same is true for others? Can you accept that good does not exist solely on the path you’ve chosen? If so, don’t fear or hate any of the world’s religions. Just take whatever lessons you can, leaving behind what doesn’t resonate with you. This is the way to personal and spiritual growth.
Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.
By Shannon Nelson -
“Your daughter will never walk again”. When my mother heard those words from the neurologist at Maine Medical Center, she fainted. She was still mourning the death of her beloved husband, Bob, who had died just two months earlier after a long battle with colon cancer.
When she received the call from my friend Tiffany, informing her that I had an accident, she immediately assumed that it was something minor. She was used to me getting injured from playing soccer throughout high school. Nothing could have prepared her for something like this.
I went through the typical stages of grief after such a dramatic, life-changing event. At first I was in denial; then I was angry (mostly with myself), and finally I was depressed but resigned to my new life.
After coming to terms with my accident, I had a few years of relatively good health, with no complications typical of people in my condition. This all changed in late 1999. I developed serious health problems (including recurrent bladder infections and severe lower-back pain.)
Tired of my constant visits to the emergency room, and following my doctor’s advice, I had bladder surgery. I would love to say that that put an end to my health problems, but nothing could be further from the truth. The pain persisted to the point where I was no longer able to get up in my wheelchair. I was completely bedridden and deeply depressed.
Throughout the following years I was prescribed many different pain medications and anti-depressants. The side effects were horrible beyond words. I was barely able to function, and I was constantly dizzy, tired, and nauseous.
During this period of time I kept putting my faith in the next magic pill, and the next one, and the next one. Only to be disappointed time and time again. The spinal cord specialist in charge of my case finally told me that there was absolutely nothing else that could be done for me and that I should learn to live with pain. That was the final blow for me; it meant that all I had to look forward to was more pain. I gave up all hope. I was emotionally and physically exhausted.
In early 2007 I read an amazingly informative book called “The Biology of Belief” by Dr. Bruce H. Lipton (a world-renowned cellular biologist), which helped me understand–from a scientific point of view–that our thoughts create our feelings and our feelings create our health. Despite all of the scientific evidence presented in Dr. Lipton’s book, I was still somewhat skeptical; but I decided to ignore my skepticism and hang on to my new found hope. I was then introduced to energy medicine. I put some of the techniques to the test with the help of a friend, and I was astonished… how could something so simple be that effective?
I am not going to tell you that you can get rid of physical and/or emotional pain overnight with energy medicine and/or energy psychology, it is a process; but I can share with you how it is helping me. Before energy medicine and energy psychology, I was taking a powerful prescription pain medication three times a day–which provided only partial and temporary relief. After a few months of applying EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) and other forms of energy medicine–such as Reiki–on a regular basis, I gradually stopped taking pain medications and anti-depressants altogether. And I am happy to report that, as I write this article, I am no longer in constant pain, and I am neither bedridden nor depressed. In fact, I am actually taking adult education classes in order to prepare myself to join the work-force once again. My plans for next year also include mentoring children.
In no way am I suggesting that you should replace your medications and/or medical treatments with energy medicine or energy psychology. I actually owe my life to modern medicine. I would not have survived breaking my neck in a country without cutting-edge treatment for spinal cord related injuries. What I am suggesting is that you don’t have to give up when traditional medicine doesn’t seem to be helping. There is a place for every form of healing.
While I still have break-through pain every once in a while, I no longer feel like a victim. I now know that virtually every physical ailment is the result of unresolved emotional trauma. I am currently working on my own list of unresolved emotional issues, one at a time. The more closure I bring to an old issue, the better I feel. I strongly believe that forgiveness played a crucial role in my recovery.
It is now my mission to reach out to people that are experiencing despair due to health problems, especially chronic pain and depression. I was once there myself, and I can completely identify. Whether you are suffering from physical or emotional pain, or you know someone that is going through a similar situation, I would like to invite you to join me in this journey.
I truly hope that through http://www.hotchocolateforthespirit.com I will create a community of people willing to share their experiences to help others, and also to find desperately needed help, information, inspiration and support.
Now that I found meaning to my years of suffering, I understand that everything happens for a reason.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shannon_Nelson
http://EzineArticles.com/?Energy-Medicine—Hype-or-Real?&id=980416
In this article I’m going to show you the way I learned to meditate, based on research and the teachings of different gurus. Meditation is a pretty common subject these days As with many things that fall into popular use, its true meaning and purpose can become distorted. There are a lot of misconceptions out there about what exactly meditation is, and how one should do it.
Common Misconceptions
It’s strange that there is so much confusion, as it’s one of the simplest things you could ever do. First, meditation isn’t reflection. The whole point of meditation is transcendence of the mind and the need for self concepts, so critical thinking and any sort of analysis are by default out. Sitting in the lotus position or humming also have precious little to do with it, though they can be useful. Basically, forget everything you’ve seen in the movies or heard from your friends. Meditation is simple.
So what exactly is meditation?
Meditation is being. That’s it. Nothing fancy or pretentious. No need to use the meditation soundtrack someone’s trying to sell to you for $19.99. There is no “secret method” or any need for guidance, beyond the basic principles I’m going to show you. Essentially, meditation is existing in its purest form. What does this mean?
When you meditate properly, you essentially become nothing. One way of putting it is you surpass your egoic nature and rise into a different level of consciousness. You forget about your daily problems and become an empty vessel. This can become intensely pleasurable as you get better at it. It can even change your entire reality.
In order to start meditating, first find a quiet spot away from interruptions by family, phones, TV, and your dog. Next, simply sit down and relax. Whatever feels comfortable will work. After you’ve relaxed a little you’re going to calm your mind and witness your thoughts.
Become the watcher
This technique involves becoming unidentified and nonreactive to your thoughts. Clear your mind as best you can and watch your thoughts pass. It’s as though you’re on an airplane that’s taking off, and your thoughts are on the ground. Wave goodbye and smile, because they’re of no consequence. They’ll be there when you get back.
The key here is to identify with consciousness. The thing that allows you to know that you’re thinking. Watch the thoughts. Once I start watching them I find that they no longer affect me. Minor annoyances and big problems alike lose their importance. Being free from mind-induced torture is incredibly relieving of its own accord, but there are other benefits to be had..
As I relax into this state, I notice my typical thoughts floating around. As I continue to be watch them impartially, I find that they occur less and less. Finally, they disipate entirely. The experience at that point is one of incredible peace and calm. I like to think it’s how we were naturally as kids, before we inherited the typical adult seriousness. We don’t have any worries, anything to be upset about, we simply are.
Taking meditation further
This state of “just being” has some pretty cool characteristics. You’ll notice that when you open your eyes after a good meditation session, everything will seem different. It’s as though that childlike sense of wonder and amazement is restored to you. You’ll also notice that you don’t have any thoughts coming back in yet. These two phenomena are inextricably linked, so pay attention to them!
The objects around you will seem more.. complete. Like you’re observing an essence in them that wasn’t there before. It’s a really trippy feeling if you haven’t experienced it before. The reason this is happening is because meditation puts you in a state of no-mind. You aren’t instantly judging and mentally labeling everything you see. Instead of seeing a “chair,” which is whatever your mental image of a chair is, you’ll see an object full of unfathomable depth. This is because the act of meditating bumps you up to a higher level of consciousness. With practice you can make this shift permanent. Many people would call this enlightenment.
While I haven’t been able to achieve this state permanently, I’ve had little tastes of it. I’ve shared a couple of them on my article about the power of now.
Becoming one with the chair
When you first start meditating your goal will simply be to clear your mind while sitting there, and this is no easy task. When I first started my mind was especially chaotic with thoughts going left and right. Don’t get frustrated if you can’t do it right away. By doing that you’re just adding more thought anyway. If you find yourself getting impatient or annoyed, practice accepting whatever you feel and letting go. Don’t resist or fight anything. Accept the present moment no matter what.
As you get better at this your thoughts will become less and less frequent, until you’re able to reach a state where they don’t come in at all. This is where all the fun begins. After having no thoughts for a long period of time you’ll notice that even when you’re done meditating and you open your eyes, your thoughts won’t immediately come back. Each time you practice you’ll be able to hold your state of no-mind longer and longer. If you keep it up you’ll eventually reach a state of transcendence of duality, perpetual no-mind, and complete and utter bliss. This is when you sell all your material possessions and start preaching on the street corners. 
Meditation can only do a whole lot of good for your life. Just remember not to judge anything when you’re doing it. If you can’t calm your mind, just accept it and try later. Become completely nonreactive and internally congruent. It’s well worth the effort.
About the author: Hi! I’m Fred Tracy, and I run a personal development website. I share all sorts of useful information like financial abundance, self discipline, achieving happiness, and a whole lot more. You can visit my site or subscribe to my RSS Feed. Thanks!
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By Cindy Loughran -
Many of us ushered in the New Year proclaiming that we’d drink less, exercise more, get organized, find a new job, have more fun and on and on. And, of those who made resolutions, 25% will have abandoned them by next week. And, as time goes on, more and more people will leave their virtuous plans by the wayside, many even forgetting what they were, never mind doing anything about them.
That would be fine except, with each failure to reach our stated goal, comes a knick in our self-esteem, a crack in our personal credibility and a deepening in our belief that we’re not good enough.
Before you give up on your New Year’s Resolution, consider these things to avoid and tips for how to counter them.
1. Being vague about the change you want to make and the result you want to achieve
- Create crystal clear goals and envision the outcome
2. Relying on willpower
Design the change process into small, do-able steps that don’t require ‘will’.
3. Taking on too much at once
Set priorities and make only one change at a time.
4. Doing the same thing you’ve always done and expecting different results
Change your beliefs, your environment, your support network and your actions
5. Moving away from something vs. toward it
Focus on what you want to do differently and keep your mind off of the things you want to avoid doing
6. Lacking self-awareness
Identify the triggers to your current, undesirable behavior so that you can anticipate them and consciously choose a different response.
7. Assuming that more information will be helpful
Once you have basic knowledge, it is your feelings, many of which are not immediately evident that drive the change train. Be aware of them and be sure they are on the right track.
8. Measuring success on a scale of all or nothing
Give yourself credit for and celebrate small milestones along the way to your final destination
9. Doing it alone
Surround yourself with people who will encourage and support you on your journey
10. Making changes because you think someone else thinks you should
Own the changes you want to make and be sure they are aligned with your authentic self
Cindy holds a degree in Communication Studies from the University of Vermont. She is a Certified Professional Coach, Certified Group Coach , Principal of CBL Associates and Founder and President of New Leaf Touchstone, a personal development business she created that employs at-risk adolescent girls in the creation of bracelets and touchstones designed to help people create new, positive habits and turn over a new leaf in all aspects of their lives. Visit her website at http://www.newleaftouchstone.com/ 
“Have you seen Joe lately? It’s like he’s a different person.”
What do we mean when we say that? And if you wanted to become a different person – where would you start?
Well, what’s probably happened to Joe is one (or more) of three things.
He’s let go of something that’s been holding him back.He’s rediscovered, and reclaimed, a part of himself that he was denying.He’s strengthened an existing part of himself that was under-emphasized before.Let’s look at each of those in turn. How could you or I do that?
Joe may have let go of a bad relationship that was dragging him down. He may have let go of part of his self-image that was keeping him from fulfilling his potential. He may have let go of a powerful emotional memory that was distorting his life, or he may have let go of a pattern of behavior that was harmful.
Here’s my three-step approach to letting go.
Connect. One of the ways in which negative thoughts, feelings and behaviors retain power over us is that we keep them from coming fully into our consciousness, where we can deal with them with all our resources. Sit down and look at the issue head-on – but from the outside, so that the emotions don’t wash you downstream. Observe the sensations in your body and the thoughts in your mind that come along with the issue.Allow. By this I mean, let the thoughts and feelings be there; don’t try to push them down or away. You’ve been doing that for years. If it was going to work, it would have worked already. Just let them be themselves and acknowledge them.Release. When you’re ready to do so, just allow the issue to go. I sometimes feel a distinct physical sensation, as if I’ve been holding my breath and I’ve finally let it out, when I do this step. If release doesn’t happen by itself, don’t force it; go back to connecting and allowing.Connect, Allow, Release gives us the acronym CAR. I often use an image of standing beside a busy road watching the cars (the thoughts and feelings) to demonstrate this process. The cars come and go. You’re not in them, you don’t grab onto them or push them away. You just watch them as they come and go.
If you’ve spent much time around Jungians you’ll know about the Shadow. The Shadow is a part of ourselves that we deny, because it holds things that we’re afraid of or disgusted by. But it also holds a lot of our personal power. Every aspect of ourselves can be positive or negative, and often the most powerful parts have the greatest potential to both harm and help.
Here’s a three-step approach to regaining access to those strengths. You need to be ready for this – it’s not something to undertake lightly or in an idle moment, and it may be a process that extends over a long period.
Connect. Yes, just the same as for letting go. You’ve been stuffing power into your Shadow for years because you haven’t paid direct attention to it. Sometimes it takes a powerful dream, or a significant loss or failure in life, to bring us face-to-face with our Shadow so that we can at last connect to it.Allow. Again, just as for letting go, you look at the Shadow objectively, acknowledge that it’s there, that it’s a part of you, without judging, resisting or rejecting it (or justifying or excusing it). Just hold it in consideration. This is a skill that takes some time to develop.Befriend. Rather than letting the Shadow go (because it’s an important part of it), look for ways to bring it into your life in a positive role. For example, you may never have allowed yourself to be angry because in your family, expressing anger was deeply unacceptable (or perhaps because a parent expressed it in a way that you swore you’d never imitate). Your anger is still there, though. How can it be a force of protection, not only for you but also for others who are in need? How can it be a dynamo driving positive change in yourself and your area of influence?Connect, Allow, Befriend gives us the acronym CAB. This time, instead of just watching the traffic, you’re calling a part of it to you and getting it to take you where you want to go.
I’m training at the moment to increase my physical strength, and it has all kinds of benefits in clarity of mind and confidence. Developing your strengths of mind and personality works the same way.
Here’s a three-step process to develop your strengths. (No clever acronym this time.)
Identify a strength that you want to develop. Write down everything that draws you, everything that you enjoy doing. Pick something that will take you where you want to go.Exercise. Look for ways to start where you are and exercise that strength as best you currently can. Train that strength.Build up. One of the things that’s amazed me about strength training is how feasible it is to increase your strength many-fold, just by being persistent and building up slowly. Always be challenging yourself to further improvement.You can become a different person in any one of these three ways – by letting go of the past, allowing your hidden and denied parts to become present, or developing your strengths for a better future.
Which one will you choose first?
Mike Reeves-McMillan writes the personal development blog Living Skillfully: Change Your Life, where he’s running a series on how we avoid change. Last year he created the online course Stop Procrastinating, Start Succeeding.
Photo Credit: Ellen Kooi
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Your future and your goals sometimes feel very far away.
To be able to keep you motivation at a high level all the time you need to be able to see every (foreseeable) step on the way.
Your motivation stands in direct relation to how clear your goals are and it is your motivation that will make or break your future.
Create Your Master Plan
If you are to succeed you need to keep your motivation high, you need to know that you are going to complete your goals.
Every time you feel like you are loosing your way and/or your motivation, just look at the map you have made and it will come rushing back.
Here are the four steps to creating your master plan.:
1. Visualize your goals
Start by „painting“ a picture of when you have completed your goals. How will you act? What will you do? What will be different?
Make that picture as clear as possible (this will help your motivation when things get tough).
2. What needs to happen for you to complete your goals
List everything that needs to happen for you to have completed your goals.
What do you need to have done? How much money do you need to have made? Who do you need to know? Anything that will needs to have happened in order for you to complete your goals.
3. Go back 90 days and do the same thing again.
What has to have happened 90 days before you complete your goals?
4. Redo this until you reach the present date.
Now you will have a complete plan, guide, for you to follow. Every step that has to happen for you to get from where you are today to your goals.
Your plans are not written in stone
Since you can not be completely right the first time you do this, do not be afraid to remake your plans as new realities develop.
Use your plan to evaluate opportunities, dangers, actions and tasks. If you see that something isn’t helping you read your goals, don’t waste your time.
Making the plan will let you gauge your progress
By having you will be able to see how far you have gotten, what needs to be done next and if you are ahead of or behind schedule.
If you don’t have a plan you will never be sure how you are sizing up.
It lets you be proactive and make the best of opportunities
Since you know exactly what needs to be accomplished and in what time it has to be done, you will be able to react to every opportunity and evaluate it objectively.
Will it help you move towards your goals? Is it worth the time? Is there something else that will give you a better return on invested time and effort?
It is the key of all successful businesses and people
All successful business (and successful people) have started with a complete plan of action.
They have known exactly where they are going and what they need to do.
Even if they end up doing something completely different then they planned, the act of planning let them act on opportunities, react to changes in the marketplace and get the most out of their opportunities.
On the other hand, people who didn’t spend time planning their goals missed opportunities, went after the wrong ones and ended up running in circles. Almost all failed startups failed because they didn’t have a clear plan of action. Don’t let this be you and don’t let this be your life.
Conclusion
Spending time on planning will save you lots of time on execution.
Start by visualizing your goal and then planning backword 90 days at a time until you get to the present.
That way you will have a complete plan to follow. Exactly what needs to be done on a week by week basis so that you can move towards your goals.
This was a guest post by Daniel M. Wood. You can read more from him at his blog Lookingtobusiness.com he writes about Sales Technique, Motivation and Success. By following his blog by email you will even get a free copy of his ebook Double Your Income
Get the confidence boost you deserve!
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You’ll also get Pick The Brain’s motivational weekly newsletter filled with positive thoughts, expert advice, helpful self-improvement articles & blog updates.
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Holly Clegg, is the guest on The Self Improvement Show today and now I understand why she wrote “Too Hot in the Kitchen.” She is amazing and you won’t want to miss this interview. A student of Cordon Bleu in Paris and London she considers herself a “good cook but not a chef.” I consider her terrific. She has some fantastic tips to make your life in the kitchen not only easier but fun.
Holly Clegg, author of the best selling trim&TERRIFIC” cookbook series including a diabetic cookbook with the ADA and Eating Well Through Cancer, has sold almost 1 million copies. Holly has promoted her healthy lifestyle recipes on national shows including Fox & Friends, NBC Weekend Today, and The 700 Club.
Holly’s new phone application, Mobile Rush Hour Recipes, available on Iphone, Blackberry and smart phones, delivers directly to your phone an easy and heatlhy recipe with photo, shopping list and lots more. She understands the demands of the busy person and with her user friendly, pantry friendly, and time friendly cookbooks, she has garnered a national reputation as the healthy “Queen of Quick!” Visit her blog: http://thehealthycookingblog.com/
In keeping with the season she graciously gave us some of her sweet potato/yam recipies which could be helpful next Thursday when you celebrate Thanksgiving.
YAM-TASTIC FALL FAVORITES
Even though the Louisiana yam is delicious in any season, it is really highlighted as a standout in many dishes this time of year. This nutritional vegetable, packed with antioxidants and fiber, adds a natural sweetness to any recipe from soups to breads. With an emphasis on tradition, the humble sweet potato appears on every holiday table but is also very versatile. You will want to try these mouth-watering new yam ideas for a perfect solution to holiday entertaining this season but they will get requested year-round! Louisiana yams are the sweetest of the sweet potatoes, so wherever you live look for Louisiana yams, the orange fleshy sweet potato to insure maximum sweetness and flavor.
Sweet Potato Wedges Wrapped in Prosciutto: A quick and easy dish that will “Wow” your guests at your holiday gathering.
- Can be served as an appetizer or side.
- Prepare ahead of time, refrigerate, and bake when ready to serve.
- Basil is so easy to grow – even I have it planted in a pot on my porch!
Southwestern Shrimp, Corn, and Sweet Potato Soup: What could be better than a perfect blend of spicy southwestern flavors mixed with yams’ natural sweetness?
- Having guests come in town – an easy “dump and stir” one-pot meal.
-Whenever I make this recipe on TV around the country, after tasting, the response is I am making it tonight!
-Whenever a soup, stew or chili calls for potatoes, substitute sweet potatoes for a nutritional boost and added flavor.
Yummy Yam Praline Coffee Cake: One of my absolute favorites and easy to make as it starts with the pantry-friendly biscuit baking mix!
- From brunch to satisfying a sweet tooth, this pantry friendly easy-to-prepare recipe is great for a house full of holiday guests.
-Make ahead and freeze to pull out for last minute needs.
-Use fresh or canned yams: 1 (15-ounce) can sweet potatoes, drained and mashed=1 cup.
WHAT’S GOING ON (LOTS)
11/3: New Orleans, LA: WWL Morning Show (CBS)
11/9: Thibodaux, LA: Cherry Books Book Signing 11-1pm
11/11: Baton Rouge, E. J. Ourso College of Business, Guest Lecturer
11/14: Baton Rouge: Barnes and Noble Book Signing, Perkins Rowe 2-4pm
11/17: The Self Improvement Show on VoiceAmerica/World Talk Radio at 12 noon Arizona time. MST
11/17: Baton Rouge, LA: WAFB Noon Show
11/18: Baton Rouge, LA: Our Lady of Mercy Lunch and Learn, 10:30am
11/23: Fort Worth, TX: Costco Book Signing 1:00pm
11/29: St. Joseph’s Academy: 11-12:00pm
- Check out: Too Hot in the Kitchen: Secrets To Sizzle At Any Age Whimsical fun and practical, this user-friendly cookbook includes over 200 delicious recipes and 100 color photographs and illustrations.
Holly has partnered with Wal-Mart’s Great Value brand to help them develop healthy and affordable meal solutions. Watch Holly’s cooking webisodes: www.walmart.com/greatvalue – & to warm you up on a cool night, watch Holly make her healthy, satisfying Wholesome Veggie Soup on YouTube.
- Visit http://thehealthycookingblog.com/ for fun food trends.
- Visit http://www.twilatv.org/ for Holly’s latest cooking segment on This Week in Louisiana Agriculture.
****Holly’s Mobile Rush Hour Recipes: FREE on iphone or ipad in the Apps store – search Holly Clegg Mobile Rush Hour Recipes. Blackberry and smart phones – http://www.handango.com/
Newly Released: Too Hot in the Kitchen: Secrets to Sizzle At Any Age
Do you find yourself struggling to do all the tasks that you need to do every day? Do you want to learn simple, effective methods to increase your productivity in ways you never thought possible? It’s time that you learn how to properly double or triple your productivity! Here are 7 tips that can get you started on the right track:
Work at your energy peaks
We all have our own time of the day where we feel at our very best. Some people are more energized in the morning, while others in the evening. Figure out what part of the day you are at your very best mentally and physically, and this is the time that you should be doing your most important and demanding task. Also, by keeping a healthy lifestyle, you will make your energy peak periods last longer, which is to your advantage in becoming more productive.
Prioritize your to-do list
Separate your to-do list into different parts, depending on their level of importance. For example, break down your list in parts 1, 2, 3, and 4. In part 1, list all your most important tasks. Then in 2, list the second most important tasks, and so on. Then, ONLY work on part 2 items when ALL part 1 items are completed. This will not only help you organize your to-do list into a more practical manner, it will also make you focus only on the most important tasks at hand. Imagine how productive you get if you always work on the most crucial task at any given moment!
Do worst thing first
Stop procrastinating the task that you don’t want to do. Get it done, and get it out of the way as soon as possible. You will feel better, trust me! If you linger around, doing other things, you will never get that harder task done. Usually, the harder tasks are the more important tasks, so if you can master this rule, you will witness your productivity skyrocket. Take the habit of doing the things you feel less like doing first, as this is the key to self discipline, which will boost your efficiency.
Organize your work area
Many people tend to work in a cluttered environment, with all kinds of papers and documents lying all over their desk. They claim that they can “find themselves” throughout all that mess. This is a common occurrence. Truth is, a clean desk equals clean work. So stop telling yourself that “this is how I work”, because you are fooling yourself into accepting less than optimal conditions to increase your productivity and success. Develop the habit of always filing away what you don’t need right away, and throw away things that you do not use. Keep your desk and work area clean, and in order. Your productivity can only be maximized within such an environment. You might want to read 10 Tips For Productive Desk Work for more information on this.
Use commute time effectively
Most people spend over an hour per day commuting to work and back home. Think of the most effective way that you can use this hour of your day to enhance your productivity. You can take that time to read a book, or go over important documents or notes. If you are driving, you can listen to motivational audiotapes, or audiobooks. In any event, there are many ways that you can use this commute time more appropriately so that you can benefit as much as possible from it.
Optimize your work processes
In many of our tasks, there are steps that can be fixed, skipped, or optimized. This can save us a tremendous amount of time, as research has shown that up to 30% of processes can be optimized. Take a look at the processes involved in your tasks, and see if you can optimize them as much as possible. Work requiring less steps is also more likely to be of better quality, as well as a huge time saver. See if you can do your work in batches for example. Remember that there is always a more efficient way of doing what you do, so keep that in mind and let it motivate you to improve your work processes.
Balance out your life
Keep in mind that while we live in a success and achievement driven society, most of our happiness comes from our relationships with one another. So make it your duty to spend time with your loved ones and cultivate your friendships. Happier people work better and more efficiently. This leads to more success and more free time for your relationships, so you can see how this comes full circle. Boosting your productivity will end up making you a happier, more successful person as a whole!
image by ohskylab (license)
Self improvement is different for everyone, even more-so for survivors of rape and childhood trauma. I know this is a sensitive subject, but it’s one that impacts so many lives and it needs to be addressed.
As recent as one year ago, I couldn’t speak these words (or even think about them) without feeling physically ill. Today I can openly say that I was raped multiple times as a young child.
Throughout my life I have carried the burden of overwhelming guilt and shame as if it was somehow my fault. I laid awake at night wondering if I could’ve fought a little harder, screamed a little louder, ran a little faster. I tortured myself with thoughts of what I should’ve and could’ve done differently.
I wore a smile that covered up indescribable pain, incessant fear, and emotional agony. The questions replayed in my head over and over and over. Was I too stupid, weak, or pathetic to defend myself? Nobody stood up for me—was that because I was undeserving, unworthy, unwanted, unlovable? What was it about me that made me his choice?
I wasted so much time on self blame. In my adult years, my way of dealing with it was to completely suppress it. I pushed it out of my head, swearing that I wouldn’t think about it ever again. Little did anyone know, it was right there under the surface.
It was there in my timid, apprehensive demeanor. I was afraid of everything. Afraid to trust people because they may see in me the same vulnerable little girl that he saw. Afraid to tell anyone my big secret. Afraid of being judged for not coming forth, for not escaping, for allowing myself to be a victim. Nonetheless, I was a highly functioning, successful young woman who did a great job of keeping this secret at bay. Little did I know, it was only a matter of time before it resurfaced.
While being sexually harassed on the job, everything I’d tried to forget came back to me. The sexual harassment was not rape, but it was a trigger that caused serious emotional re-injury. Suddenly, I found myself in that familiar place—blaming myself, wondering why me, too ashamed to speak up, too afraid to defend myself.
Once again, I internalized what was happening to me and assumed responsibility for the actions of the perpetrator. The nightmares, hypervigilance, insomnia, fear, constant worry, self blame, and feelings of helplessness hit me like a ton of bricks. I was 11 years old again—but now in a grown woman’s body.
I hated the person who was doing this to me, but I didn’t hate him as much as I hated myself. I wanted a way out of this life. The world seemed like such a scary place and I just wanted to escape. After all, I couldn’t even go to work without feeling afraid.
Suicide crossed my mind frequently just as it had when I was a kid. I wanted to feel safe. I wanted to stop being afraid. I wanted to go somewhere that I wouldn’t have to stand up for myself since I didn’t have the courage to do so. But then again…maybe I did have the courage after all.
Fast forward…
With a little help from a friend, I made some “big girl” decisions. I reported the creep that was harassing me at work and took measures to sue the company for negligently leaving me in harm’s way. That’s not all I did.
I checked into a program designed to help people with post traumatic stress disorder. That’s right—I admitted that I had not truly dealt with what happened to me as a child. I admitted that I needed help, I took responsibility into my own hands, and I committed to taking back control over my life. That step alone took a lot more courage than I thought I had.
When I say the journey has been a hard one, it is the ultimate understatement. However, it is so worth it.
One thing that helped me to overcome the guilt and shame was to put things into perspective. I was told to drive by schools and look at 10 to 12 year old kids. As I watched them play and laugh, I couldn’t imagine why I blamed myself for so long. I looked at these kids and realized that there is no way in hell anyone in their right mind would fault them for being violated in the way that I was. It couldn’t possibly be the child’s fault.
To think of one of those kids blaming herself for being raped—oh how it makes my heart ache. When I take myself out of the equation, replacing me with another person, I see so clearly that the guilt and shame of rape are not warranted.
I acted like a child because I was a child. I did what I could to defend myself. The person I confided in did not help me, but that is also not my fault. No child can be held responsible for the actions of an adult. And no child deserves to be violated.
As suggested by my therapist, I wrote a letter to my rapist. In this letter, I didn’t hold anything back. I gave myself permission to express every single feeling that I’d been holding in since that day. I even read the letter aloud to a group. And I did so shamelessly.
More than anything, what came out was anger. Anger turned inward is depression, so it makes sense that I hurt so much for so long. Finally, I let it out and let it go. I gave ownership of the wrong to the person who committed the wrong.
Through this letter, I released myself from all responsibility for what happened. But the best part of what came out of writing that letter was forgiveness. Despite all the hurt and pain I’d felt, I forgave him. Not because I give a damn about him or his life, but because I deserve to be free. Forgiveness is the key to that freedom.
I will never forget the experience of being raped, but I am no longer ashamed of it. I am spilling my guts right now to anyone who cares to read this. I couldn’t have done that a year ago, but I am doing it today because I know there is nothing to be ashamed of. I no longer carry the guilt around like a boulder on my shoulders.
Finally, after years of not dealing with this trauma, I AM FREE.
If you’ve been through something similar, I wish you peace of mind and a complete emotional recovery. Healing is absolutely, 100% possible and you can overcome the guilt and shame.
I am not implying that writing a letter is all you need for healing. My healing also included Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), several weeks of intensive therapy, inner child work and more. The journey continues; however, I’m able to move on with life as a new and improved me. Now that’s what I call self improvement.
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Life’s Struggles: Who Would You Be Without Them?
If you are continuously living in the future, the following article can help you.
Finding Paradise in the Now
By Suzanne Bandick
Are you thinking or hoping you will find paradise in your future? Have you ever caught yourself saying any of the following? Life will be better when I am finished school… I find a new job… I find a good relationship… I win the lottery… I have a bigger or better house or car… I have more money… I can move?
Those are all great dreams or goals, but do you ever notice that often our focus on what we want for our future can make us unhappy in the now? This is often caused because now we have inadvertently placed a focus on what we do not have in our life or the perceived lack in it. It can make our current life seem less perfect when we desire more for ourselves. According to the Law of Attraction, this creates the opposite effect of what we really want.
What if I told you there are ways around this? That there are ways to have and enjoy all that life has to offer now, while we also plan for and anticipate a great future? What if we did not have to wait for our paradise to come to us only sometime in the future? What if life could feel more like paradise now as well?
One good way to enjoy our life in the now is by focusing on what we are currently grateful for in our lives. What is happening in your life right now that is creating or could be part of a current paradise? When we appreciate all there is in our now - we get a much better now and a dazzling future.
It does not matter what we currently have that is perceived as a negative in our lives; it is all a question of our focus. When we try to focus on all that we can love in the now, we start to enjoy our life more now as we attract more good things for our future. Moving from one paradise to another is a very good way to live all our dreams. It is all about our focus. What is your focus?
Suzanne Marie Bandick lives in Playa del Carmen, Mexico and is a Life Coach and Author of several books. Visit http://www.SuzanneMarieBandick.com or http://www.LiveYourDreamsCoaching.com for more information. You can also join the new e-coaching club.
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It may seem that big problems require big solutions, but ad man Rory Sutherland says many flashy, expensive fixes are just obscuring better, simpler answers. To illustrate, he uses behavioral economics and hilarious examples. Check out the video below:
By Peter Winslow -
Lately, I’ve become all too aware that I’m very fond of being right. As I pondered the premise, a real poser fell into my lap. What if there is no wrong? What if everything serves in some way?
There are well-established philosophies in the world that maintain no moral high-ground for the concepts of “right” and “wrong.” They simply regard life as a procession of action and consequence. It’s called karma, and it’s a very strong guiding influence. In the West, an urban poet once gave credence to the notion in expressing “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.”
Why do so many people stake their happiness, if not their very sanity, on the need to be right? It’s a circuitous quest, considering that righteousness can be a moving target. Very often, what was right before may be left behind later on.
It was once considered proper to own human beings, until enough people deemed it no longer right to do so. The argument split our country in two, leading a nation to war against itself. Many on both sides of the issue met their ends believing they were right.
What aspect of humanity so fervently feels the need to be right, even in the face of death and devastation?
The critical thinking mind, called ego, is the aspect that pursues its rights and wrongs with reckless abandon. It frequently carries the unmitigated need to establish support for its beliefs, impress those beliefs upon others, and ultimately have them capitulate in agreement.
And yet, we’ve all witnessed people who are never flustered when others disagree with them. They make a distinction between authenticity and ego, making the choice to be happy. Happy with what? These people have chosen to be happy with who they really are. It follows that their egos are in alignment with the deeper aspect that observes without judgment from beyond the fray.
It makes sense when you realize that ego always wants to be right. It has to believe what it thinks is right, and no personality can be at rest with itself when it thinks the beliefs it lives by are wrong.
Conversely, the authentic self doesn’t cling to being “right.” It’s indefensible; it has nothing to defend. It resonates with being happy and at peace instead of being right.
Ego takes things personally, but to the core essence, the authentic self, nothing is personal. Initially, this can be a tedious distinction, but pay it your earnest attention and it becomes clear; in fact it’s simple. You want to pay attention, because this concept can change your life (and your health) for the better in many ways.
The next time you find yourself baited into an argument with a stubborn opponent, take the opportunity and put it to the test. Even if your ego is tying itself in knots over the issue, from the perspective of the true self, this exercise is liberating.
Do this: With sincerity, tell the person confronting you with an argument that they’re right, even if you’re sure that’s not the case. Remember, you are addressing their ego, which wants to be right. By agreeing with them, you will immediately take the wind out of their argument and defuse a potentially volatile situation. They may not even know how to respond to you, and the solution you seek will be easier to find.
The payoff: When people disagree with you, realize they’re not opposing the true you; they’re differing with the beliefs and constructs of your ego. By making a distinction, you essentially change the game. The solutions you seek are always near at hand when you make space for the authentic self to shine in the face of your challenges.
Peter Winslow, DcH is a Life Coach and Counselor. He connects his clients to their inner power for life changing results. He offers services, products and information for optimal health, happiness and personal enlightenment. What a difference the right voice can make in your life. Take an empowering journey with a free guided meditation mp3 by Peter Winslow at http://www.trueinnerbeauty.com.
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Thich Nhat Hanh is undeniably one of the world’s greatest spiritual teachers. Born in Vietnam in 1926, this Buddhist Monk has spread his message of love, compassion, and peace to people all over the world.
This is a short collection of my favorite Buddhist quotes from the writings, speeches, and poems of Thich Nhat Hanh. I hope you’ll find something here that further opens your eyes and heart.
“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
“If in our daily life we can smile, if we can be peaceful and happy, not only we, but everyone will profit from it. This is the most basic kind of peace work.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
“Waking up this morning, I smile. Twenty-four brand new hours are before me. I vow to live fully in each moment and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
“Through my love for you, I want to express my love for the whole cosmos, the whole of humanity, and all beings. By living with you, I want to learn to love everyone and all species. If I succeed in loving you, I will be able to love everyone and all species on Earth… This is the real message of love.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
“The fact is that when you make the other suffer, he will try to find relief by making you suffer more. The result is an escalation of suffering on both sides.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
“For things to reveal themselves to us, we need to be ready to abandon our views about them.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
“The secret of Buddhism is to remove all ideas, all concepts, in order for the truth to have a chance to penetrate, to reveal itself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
“We often think of peace as the absence of war, that if powerful countries would reduce their weapon arsenals, we could have peace. But if we look deeply into the weapons, we see our own minds- our own prejudices, fears and ignorance. Even if we transport all the bombs to the moon, the roots of war and the roots of bombs are still there, in our hearts and minds, and sooner or later we will make new bombs. To work for peace is to uproot war from ourselves and from the hearts of men and women. To prepare for war, to give millions of men and women the opportunity to practice killing day and night in their hearts, is to plant millions of seeds of violence, anger, frustration, and fear that will be passed on for generations to come. ” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
“You are what you want to become. Why search anymore? You are a wonderful manifestation. The whole universe has come together to make your existence possible. There is nothing that is not you. The kingdom of God, the Pure Land, nirvana, happiness, and liberation are all you.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
“The essence of love and compassion is understanding, the ability to recognize the physical, material, and psychological suffering of others, to put ourselves ‘inside the skin’ of the other.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
“Understanding and Love are not two separate things, but just one. To develop understanding, you have to practice looking at all living beings with the eyes of compassion. When you understand, you cannot help but love. And when you love, you naturally act in a way that can relieve the suffering of people.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
“People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child – our own two eyes. All is a miracle.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
“If love is in our hearts, every thought, word, and deed can bring about a miracle.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
“When we come into contact with the other person, our thoughts and actions should express our mind of compassion, even if that person says and does things that are not easy to accept. We practice in this way until we see clearly that our love is not contingent upon the other person being lovable.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
For see the other collections of self improvement quotes on this site, click here to check out the Quotes category.
By Irene Conlan -
You are invited out to dinner next week with a group of well known people in your community most of whom you have not met but know about through the news media. You readily accept. You check out a couple of them on the Internet, learning about their education and their professional and personal accomplishments so you can relate to them in conversation. Initially you are excited about it and then you thoughts begin to ramble. Ideas begin to creep in, ideas such as:
What can I possibly wear that will look good enough? I’d better get something new.What if they don’t like me?What if I can’t carry on my part of the conversation?What if they realize I’m not on their level?What if I embarrass myself?I shouldn’t have accepted.I won’t fit in.I don’t think I can do this.They will see how out of place I really am.I don’t want to make a fool of myself.…and so on.Notice how your thoughts have changed from questions to statements. The day of the dinner, you decide you don’t feel well and you call in your regrets to the person who invited you.This is a little extreme but the scenario is played out frequently in any number of situations - perhaps consciously, perhaps not.Had you focused on the positive outcomes of the situation you could have attended, enjoyed the dinner and ended up with new acquaintances and possibly new friends who could enrich your life.
Let’s look at some other similar scenarios”
You are studying for an advanced degree and have an important exam to take. You fear that you will freeze and your mind will draw a blank at each question. You begin to doubt your mastery of the material and, even though you have spent hours in preparation your thoughts have declared you a failure before you even start the test. You have set yourself up for failure in a situation that you could ordinarily handle with ease.
You are asked to give some serious consideration to writing a book or a series of articles. You ask a couple of friends what they think and you get both positive and negative feedback. By the time you need to make a decision and give your response, the negative input has won and you say, “Thanks, but the answer is no.” Perhaps you would have written a best seller but you’ll never know.
You visit an on-line dating site and receive a number of responses. You consider each one and decide that none of them work for you. You do this, not because you have good information that lets you know they are not a good match for you, but because your thoughts led you to believe they wouldn’t like you.What have you missed by that assumption?
You didn’t sleep well last night or the night before so today your thoughts dwell on the possibility that you won’t sleep again tonight. You have set yourself up not to sleep and, no surprise, you have another restless night. There are steps you can take to make a good night’s sleep a possibility and one of them is to manage your thoughts.
You are told that the boss wants to see you first thing in the morning. You spend the evening and night worrying that he has a negative review to give you, or you are going to get a change in your job, or that you may be getting laid off or fired. By the time of the meeting you have worked yourself into a frenzy with your negative thinking. The fact is that the boss called you in to tell you are getting a promotion accompanied by a raise.You go in tired and with a negative attitude based simply on your own negative thoughts.
Think about your own thoughts. Where do they lead you? Do you let them help your soar to new heights? Or do you allow them to control your mind, your attitudes, your emotions, your desires, your decisions in a negative way? Do you allow your thoughts to sabotage you and keep you from taking necessary risks and therefore from enjoying some remarkable success? I’m not talking about situations in which “no” is the best answer or recognizing that a situation truly is not the best for you. I’m talking about allowing your thoughts to take over and influence a decision in an unfortunate and unfavorable way
If the answer is “yes” what can you do about it? While this is probably not new information but simply a reminder, there are several things you can do, for example:
Become aware of your thinking – serve as your own “thought monitor.” When you notice a trend toward the negative, take control. Watch for patterns. Awareness is key.When you don’t have all your facts, gather information that allows you to make intelligent, informed decisions. This will help you avoid jumping to false conclusions based on negative input from your own thoughts.Develop a pattern of positive thinking.Remember that thoughts are things and they create. Can you name one thing in existence that didn’t start out as a thought? Me neither.
In his book, As a Man Thinketh, James Allen states, “All that you accomplish or fail to accomplish with your life is the direct result of your thoughts.”
Do your thoughts create joy in your life or do they create suffering?
