3 Steps to Self Improvement – the Childish Way

It’s something all of us aspire to achieve, but unless we consciously choose to get rid of our weaknesses and promote our strengths, there is no way to self improvement. Improving the self is an exercise that is sporadic at best – to make it work on a continuous basis, you must be constantly aware of your thoughts and actions and be able to steer them towards a more positive direction. Self improvement starts with self awareness, and that’s one of the reasons why it’s possible to observe much from the world of children in taking your first steps towards improving yourself:

If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again: If you’ve seen a child trying to take their first steps, you’ll know what I mean. They may fall on their butt an awful lot, but then, they’re always up and at the attempt to walk again. Soon enough, walking becomes second nature rather than a conscious attempt. This instinctive attitude of kids is a lesson in self improvement to keep trying again and again even if you fail at first. For example, if you’re trying to quit an addiction, don’t be upset by setbacks or relapses; just keep trying until you’re able to rid yourself of the habit for good. Sooner or later, staying free of your addiction becomes the norm rather than an anomaly.Once bitten, twice shy: When a child touches an electrical socket or falls off the edge of a bed once too often, they’re wary of getting too close to a switch or the foot of the bed again. They learn through experience that certain things are dangerous and so must be avoided. Similarly, when trying to improve yourself, it’s important to remember that you must learn from negative experiences if you want to achieve progress. For example, if you’ve suffered because of an abusive or otherwise unhealthy relationship, don’t go right back into another one simply because you’re too weak and have no self-control. Remember the hurt you suffered – it’s going to happen again if you repeat your mistakes instead of learning from them.Beauty is on the inside: You don’t see children complaining about the way they look or worrying that they’re too fat or too skinny or just not right. They look in the mirror just to make faces at themselves; they choose their clothes based on the bright colors and funny pictures – they don’t care that they don’t match; and they look beyond the outside appearance of people and focus on what’s inside. So in your attempt to improve yourself, look not at the way you look, but on how you treat people and yourself. Focus on improving your inner beauty rather than boosting your outward appearance. When you’re a truly warm, kind and caring person, your external looks don’t matter.

Self improvement is a process that must be consciously done and continuously adhered to if it is to work. So know what you need to improve, and strive to achieve the necessary improvement.

This article is contributed by Susan White, who regularly writes on the subject of surgical technician schools. She invites your questions, comments at her email address: susan.white33@gmail.com.

View the original article here

25 Amazing Self Improvement Ideas

Share

Fun, challenging, rewarding, exhilarating, joyful, satisfying. Are these the words that describe your life? I sure hope they do. In fact, I wish these words were the description of everyone’s life. To the contrary, millions of people continuously seek self improvement information to help them cope with a life that doesn’t measure up to their dreams.

This list of 25 self improvement ideas is not meant to be an all encompassing life fixer-upper, but it is a powerful starting place. No matter how great (or not so great) your life may be, applying some of these life changing self improvement ideas will help to make your days a little brighter.

1. Practice patience with yourself and others. Instead of rushing through life, pause to fully experience the journey.

2. Try to understand others instead of judging them. Look closely at your perception of others for opportunities to be more loving, tolerant, compassionate, and open minded.

3. Listen more than you talk. Listening skills are the core of all knowledge, personal growth, self development, and success. You’ll be amazed by what you learn when you close your mouth and listen intently to those around you. In all that you do, open your ears and heart.

4. Surround yourself with positive, motivated people. It’s easier to accomplish self improvement goals when your inner circle is filled with those who share your ambitions.

5. Reduce or eliminate communication with toxic people. Allowing growth often means letting go of those things (and people) that do not serve you. Detachment from sources of negativity is not always easy, but it’s a big step towards self improvement success.

6. Learn to apply Universal Law of Attraction. As you understand how your thoughts create your reality, it becomes crystal clear that self improvement is a matter of attracting your desires through deliberate creation.

7. Begin and end each day with meditation. Meditation is a wonderful way to reduce stress, creating a sense of inner peace and calm. The physical and emotional benefits show up in all aspects of your life.

8. Watch less T.V. If productivity, mindfulness, positivity, and/or brain fitness are important self improvement goals to you, it’s a great idea to give up your addiction to television.

9. Live in the present moment. Learning to accept both the unchangeable past and the unpredictable future is the only way to live your best life. Life is happening now and only now.

10. Hypnosis. Hypnosis can be used effectively to stop smoking, lose weight, feel more confident, overcome phobias, and accomplish many other positive changes.

11. Write and recite positive affirmations. With daily practice, positive affirmations become positive beliefs; and positive beliefs create positive life experiences.

12. Listen to positive subliminal messages. Subliminal messaging can be used to bypass the logical part of your mind that makes it hard to believe (and benefit from) positive affirmations. This is a wonderful self help method for combating deeply held negative beliefs.

13. Forgive yourself for past mistakes. The only thing worse than holding grudges against others is holding grudges against yourself. By forgiving yourself for failures and mistakes, you become free of emotional baggage that may stunt your personal growth.

15. Be a better friend. True friends are the meat of your support system, thus nurturing these friendships is a powerful part of improving your life. Once you identify the friends that you hold dearest to your heart, dedicate the time and effort required to foster these important bonds.

16. Be wisely selfish. Always remember to take care of yourself first and foremost. The better you are to yourself, the better you can be for others.

17. Practice healthy relationship skills. The quality of your relationships is a direct correlation to the quality of your life. Self improvement and relationship improvement go hand in hand.

18. Define your fundamental values and boundaries. When you know who you are and where you stand, it’s easier to make decisions and to teach others how to treat you.

19. Replace aggressive and/or passive behaviors with assertiveness. Whether you avoid confrontation or step on toes whenever you please, you may still benefit from assertiveness training. Learn the art of getting your needs met and going about it in the best possible way.

20. Get over the quest for perfectionism. To increase productivity and overall life satisfaction, give yourself permission to embrace imperfection. Nothing is more counterproductive than waiting around for people or circumstances to be just right.

21. Get plenty of exercise, preferably outside in nature. Ever heard the saying, “Use it or lose it?” This definitely applies to your body. Keep those muscles working and you’ll reap the enormous benefits of treating your body with loving care.

22. Eat a healthy diet. No matter how much you exercise, it is still important to eat right. They say you are what you eat. I’m not sure if anyone has ever turned into a french fry, but I do know that we end up looking and feeling like what we eat. If you survive on food that’s crappy, there’s a good chance that you’ll look and feel the same.

23. Perform self esteem exercises. No matter how you look or what you accomplish, it is important to feel good about yourself. Self improvement works from the inside out and there are several self esteem exercises that can help you build the confidence necessary to take life to another level.

24. Choose a spiritual path that resonates with your Inner Being. Spirituality is important for everyone. Even if it means straying away from the religion of your childhood, get in touch with the spiritual you.

25. Eliminate argument techniques that cause resentment and ineffective communication. Disagreements are not avoidable, but you can handle them in a way that resolves problems rather than multiplying them.

Ok…it’s time for comments. Which of the 25 self improvement ideas will you starting applying? Have you already applied some of them successfully? Is there any other self improvement information that you’d like to share?

Please share this post to show your support: Tagged as: personal growth, Self improvement information, Self improvement techniques

View the original article here

Tell the Truth to Power

By Neil Tepper -

Roger Federer is considered by many as the best tennis player of our time. Judging by the records he holds, the money he’s won and the respect he’s earned, no one is a better overall player than Roger Federer. And, Roger Federer has a coach.

Why would the best tennis player in the world – or any top athlete – need a coach?  The answer is simple: because he can’t see his own swing. In fact, a coach in golf is called a “swing coach.”

Each of us has our own, unique swing: our talents and expertise; our physical presence; our personality; our spiritual being. Each of us brings this package of who we are to our jobs, to our relationships and to how we approach every aspect of our lives.

Yet, regardless of our strengths and accomplishments, each of us has a blind side that prevents us from seeing our own swing.

People who want to excel in life know this. That’s why personal improvement books and websites are so popular. No doubt, that’s why we’re meeting here at The Self Improvement Blog.

Corporate leaders also know this. That’s why the smartest and most determined of them gather accomplished people around them, so there is no part of the organization’s “business swing” that remains unseen.

In my role as a business and creativity coach, I work with “C” level executives and other people in leadership roles to help them improve their “swing.” This select group is serious about their work. They can often intimidate outsiders who don’t understand the rules of power.

People in such exalted positions don’t usually like to be corrected or hear the word “no.” But, these powerful, super-achievers know they need to be disagreed with and challenged.

Indeed, the strongest and brightest leaders seek diverging perspectives from people who are not afraid to “tell the truth to power.” They need – and are grateful for –  the truth. As one of my clients said to me after I gave him feedback on a presentation he was going to make to the Board of Directors of The Coca-Cola Company, “Thank you for pushing me to be my best.”

If you want to operate at your own highest level, you need to tell the truth to powerful people. And, you need to want to hear the truth from others. Sometimes, it’s uncomfortable to do either. But as long as you hold back from it, you are not serving your superiors and colleagues – and you are impeding your own advancement to success.

Ultimately, the most important person you will ever need to tell the truth to is yourself. If you can say it – and hear it – you will be much more effective in your work life and happier in the whole of your life.

You will say to yourself or to your coach: “Thank you for pushing me to be my best.”

About: Neil:
Neil Tepper is a creativity coach, inspirational speaker, author and award-winning photographer. As “The Creativity Doctor,” Neil helps individuals and organizations to harness their right-brain creativity and put innovative ideas into action. Neil’s new book, “Prescriptions for Living a Creative Life: Simple Remedies for Common Maladies in Our 24/7 World,” offers tools to help readers solve the common challenges we all face in our fast-paced world. “Prescriptions” includes practical workbook pages in each chapter that will help you solve problems and achieve your goals. Connect with Neil at neiltepper.com and on Facebook.

View the original article here

BUILD YOUR SELF ESTEEM, A STARTER GUIDE TO SELF IMPROVEMENT

So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.

Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?

Dart Pin #1 : Negative Work Environment

Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.

Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior

Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.

Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment

You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.

Dart Pin #4: Past Experience

It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.

Dart Pin #5: Negative World View

Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory

The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you – “George, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve your self.”

In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means ‘self change’. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.

Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.

"Life With Woody" 10 inspirational quotes than can improve yourself

It might take a little coffee or probably a few rounds of beer or any other booze you could get your hands on when it comes to relaxing after a hard day's work. Well, yeah I'm guilty about that one as well, unless I'm caught dead wearing a lampshade over my head after a few rounds of vodka… half-naked! Okay, bad example and I apologize to everyone reading this after getting nightmares about me in that state of drunken stupor.

Just don't ask how it happened, please.

But what's really interesting is that how do people go through the usual part of life when faced with vein-popping stress? I mean, the new age thing like Zen or yoga is one of the good things and it actually works. Is there room for the intellectual side of people who can actually smell the roses-in-a-can while on the move? It kind of had me thinking that there really must be something in this 'mind-over-matter' thing.

Humor is indeed the best medicine there is whenever you are. I mean anyone can pay good money to listen to a comedian just to make you wet your pants after laughing so hard. Despite of what's been happening, and to those who has gone though the ordeal, it's better to just laugh while facing the troubles with a clear mind than anger with a clouded vision. One of my favorite celebrities of all time may have to be Woody Allen. Now this is one guy who gives you the in-your-face bluntness that he pulls out with gusto, even without even trying. You can talk just about anything with a man, and he's bound to mock the subject and you'll end up laughing rather than being upset about it.

Woody Allen has this to say:

1. "Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." It sounds good to me, I mean the practicality of all things does involve money but it doesn't have to take an arm and a leg to get it.

2. "I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government." 'Nuff said.

3. "There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" This happens to be one of the classic ones. I mean the issue about life's little problems isn't all that bad, until 'he' shows up.

Sure, relationships can get complicated, or does have its complications that probably any author about relationships is bound to discover it soon. We follow what our heart desires, unless you're talking about the heart as in the heart that pump blood throughout your body.

4. "Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions." And if you want more, just keep on asking!

5. "A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'." It sounds, 'practical', I think.

And when it comes to everyday life, he really knows how to make the best out of every possible scenario, and it doesn't involve a lawsuit if he strikes a nerve.

6. "Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats." I never had a boat in my bathtub before. Just staring at it while soaking in hot water makes me seasick already.

7. "I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." If it rains, it pours.

8. "I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose." It could get worse when you're guzzling on beer… or mouthwash, and it happened to me once!

9. "If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans." At least he doesn't smite us with lightning, and I'm thankful for that.

And despite of what may happen to all of us in the next ten, twenty, or even thirty years, I guess we all have to see things in a different kind of light and not just perspective. I can't seem to imagine life without any piece of wisdom that could guide us. Whether we're religious or not, it takes more courage to accept your fears and learn how to deal with them is all that matters when it comes to even just getting along.

And to sum things up, here is the last nugget of wisdom to go by… however, whenever, and wherever we may be.

10. "The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have."

"The Game of Life" Start your own coaching: 7 days program

Have you ever been a coach to a neighborhood team? I know how it feels the first time I've coached a team of seven-year-old soccer kids and how much they can really test my patience, not to mention sanity as they run around kicking the ball like ants to a huge, white crumb. It feels strange at first, having to be stared at by a bunch of kids who they will know that I'm not the one in the field. Sounds wrong in a sense, right? But what is the dead about coaching?

Coaching is all about being a, well, 'coach' in the corporate world of handlers, front-liners and even a couple of benchwarmers biding their time to be given a chance to perform. I know how that feels when I go back to my regular day job. Some players are just MVP material, and some of them are just to support the MVP's so why bother sticking around? It sounds ironic when they say 'there is no I in team', but even the underachievers can be sore losers as well.

These are steps that can be done within the day, and no matter what, it takes determination to be a coach.

1. There is a WHOLE lot of talk these days about Corporate Team Building. There are many, many options: vacation packages, rope courses, on-going office games, ice-breakers, etc. Management can also purchase videos, books, and seminar packages to assist them in building up their organization into a team worthy of belonging. A little later I will give you some ideas of where you can go for information on these team-building tools.

2. The truth about motivation is waiting to be grasped! It is ripe and ready for you to put into action today. Don't settle for mind-numbing gibberish. Get practical in 3 small ways to begin looking forward to your alarm clock sounding off each morning before you huddle with the team.

3. Experience is the best thing despite of what course you graduated in. There is something about being a people person who knows how to stir the energetic side of one individual, and more so when you mix it up with an entire team.

4. To question a person by his or her performance is sometimes required, but never question their knowledge or their intelligence. Sadly, I have seen a few mistakes from past coaches who never seem to understand what a player has to go through to get the job right. It will lead to further aggravation and maybe even hostility. If you want the job done right, then go do it yourself. You'll see how it is to be at the receiving end and it will help your set a much better course for improvement.

5. Sending a player to the bench is probably the worse experience a coach has to go through, especially if your player is the top performer. In dealing with this kind of person, see to it that he spills his guts voluntarily. Egotism in a performer tends to make them lose their focus on even the smallest mistakes, then you can catch him or her red handed. Be firm, but understanding about it.

6. Don't allow your position to blind you from what you are supposed to do. Even coaches are human enough to think that they are far more superior, but only by rank. Even if you have been in their shoes when you were their age, it's better to dole out a piece of wisdom in order for them to realize that this will be for their own benefit.

7. Lastly, you should learn to trust yourself and your team. Decisions and performance are primarily your goals, and there are many of them to see if they could perform the task much more efficiently. So before you think about sending one member to the bench, have a good chat with him or her and see if they have any problems. If it's too personal, then just encourage them to do their best and it also helps to give them a good, encouraging slap on the back.

I guess there's all there is to it. Being a corporate drone myself, I know how important it is for a company to be successful, and we're all part of that success. Coaches are there not to make your work a little difficult just because you have either an attitude problem or not much a performer, but they're the guides who will help you perform as hard as you can possibly can. You'll do them proud one of these days, as well as you.

75 Ways to Show Love in Relationships

Share

If you’re married or in a serious relationship, you’re no stranger to the phrase, “I love you.” You can say those 3 little words to your partner one million times, but we all know that it has to be followed up with action.

Showing love isn’t an exact science. We all speak different love languages, so you may show love in a way that your spouse doesn’t understand (and vice versa).  Well, it doesn’t have to remain that way.

Happy couples’ love for each other and dedication to the relationship lead to many adjustments in the way they show love to each other. If what you’re doing isn’t working for your relationship, it may be time to change your approach.  Use this list of 75 ways to show love as a guide to loving your mate in a way that may save your relationship or just take it to a new level of awesomeness.

1. A kiss on the forehead
2. Uninterrupted quality time
3. A note under the pillow
4. Tell him when he looks masculine, sexy, or hot
5. Turn a regular day into an All-About-You day just for your mate
6. Breakfast served in bed
7. A romantic picnic indoors
8. An unexpected dinner cruise
9. Propose marriage on one knee
10. Don’t complain when he leaves the toilet seat up
11. A rose on the pillow
12. Tell her she’s beautiful
13. Pour on the chivalry (open doors, pull her chair out)
14. A bubble bath with rose petals and her favorite scented candles
15. Verbalize what your relationship means to you
16. Surprise her with her favorite flowers and candy
17. An “I love you because…” list
18. PDA (public displays of affection)
19. Heart shaped pancakes or cookies
20. A walk in the park together
21. Hold your beloved a little tighter and longer than usual
22. Do some of his/her chores
23. A handwritten card sprayed with your scent
24. Spoil each other
25. Renew your marriage vows
26. Be first to say “I’m sorry” after an argument
27. Personalize (i.e. engrave) gifts
28. Place an “I love you” flyer under the car’s windshield wiper
29. Send a surprise gift to his/her workplace
30. Support each other’s dreams
31. Make love slowly, passionately
32. Run his bath water
33. Give your spouse space when needed
34. Buy her feminine hygiene products (before she asks)
35. Bring him a cold beer while he watches football
36. Put a love note in her purse

37. Hold hands
38. Take showers together and wash each other’s back (or whole body)
39. Look deeply into your lover’s eyes
40. Always kiss goodbye and goodnight
41. Boast about your mate and your relationship to mutual friends
42. Arrange for a babysitter so you can have an unexpected date night
43.  Say how much you love each other even if you think it’s known
44. Use cute pet names for each other
45. Rub your noses together
46. Remember to say thank you (often)
47. Excuse each other’s mistakes
48. Meditate together
49. Sleep in his t-shirt
50. Wash her hair
51. Step outside of traditional gender roles to help each other (Cook dinner for her; take the trash out for him)
52. Verbally reassure your lover
53. Take photographs as a couple
54. Give up the last piece of food on your plate
55. Write a short fairy tale using you and your mate as the characters (Once upon a time…”)
56. Listen more intently
57. Flirt with each other
58. Sing your significant other a love song
59. Get up early to help him/her get ready for work
60. Say “I adore you”
61. Watch a chic flick with her
62. Kiss your mate somewhere you never thought to kiss before (i.e. elbow, knee, toe)
63. Initiate affection (hugs, kisses, spooning)
64. Take good care of yourself so that you’re at your best for the one you love
65. A handmade gift or card
66. Write a sweet message on a fogged-up mirror so he/she will see it after exiting the shower
67. Cook your significant other’s’ favorite meal
68. Feed each other chocolate covered strawberries
69. Cuddle by the fireplace
70. Laugh and have fun with each other
71. Rub his/her feet
72. Create a scrapbook together
73. Start a hobby together
74. Dance indoors to your favorite song
75. Ask about each other’s day

Healthy relationships survive because both partners keep trying. They know the secret–that love is a verb. Loving your spouse or lover means taking action to help keep love (the feeling) alive and flourishing.

What are some of your favorite ways to show love? What are some ways you’d like your partner to show love? Do you agree that love (the action) is as important as love (the feeling).

Related Relationship Goodies

Please share this post to show your support: Tagged as: Healthy relationship, Love

View the original article here

Setting Your Goals - Easier Said, Easily Done

The basics of setting a goal is an open secret known by top-caliber athletes, successful businessmen and businesswomen and all types of achievers in all the different fields. The basics of setting goals give you short-term and long-term motivation and focus. They help you set focus on the acquisition of required knowledge and help you to plan and organize your resources and your time so that you can get the best out of your life.

Setting clearly defined short term and long term goals will enable you to measure your progress and achieve personal satisfaction once you have successfully met your goals. Charting your progress will also enable you to actually see the stages of completion leading to the actual realization of your goals. This eliminates the feeling of a long and pointless grind towards achieving your goal. Your self-confidence and level of competence will also improve as you will be more aware of your capabilities as you complete or achieve your goals.

The basics of goal settings will involve deciding what you really want to do with your personal life and what short term and long term goals you need to achieve it. Then you have to break down goals into the smaller and manageable targets that you must complete in your way to achieving your lifetime targets. Once you have your list waste no time in tackling your goals.

A good way to have a manageable list is to have a daily and weekly set of goals. By doing this you will be always in the position of going towards you life plan goals. Everyday will give you the opportunity to fulfill a certain goal giving you the feeling of accomplishment.

Here are some pointers that should be taken into consideration in setting goals and achieving them.

Attitude plays a very big role in setting and achieving your goals. You must ask yourself if any part of you or your mind holding you back towards completing your simplest goals? If there are any part of your behavior that is being a hindrance or puts your plans into disarray? If you do have problems in these areas then the immediate thing to do is to address this problem. Solutions may include a visit to a doctor or psychiatrist to control your emotions.

Careers are made by good time management practice. Failing in a career is often attributed to bad time management. Careers require a lot from an individual which often makes the career the life of the individual. Plan how far do you want to go into your career.

Education is key in achieving your goals. If your goals require you to have a certain kind of degree or require a certain specialization or demand a certain skill to be developed, make plans in getting the appropriate education.

Your family should never be left out of your plans. If you are just starting out then you have to decide if you want to be a parent or when you want to be a parent. You also have to know if you really would be a good parent and how well would you relate to extended family members

Personal financial situations also play a major role in achieving your goals. Have a realistic goal on how much you really want to earn. You also must be able to create plans or stages by which you will be able to reach your earning potential.

Physically gifted individuals may be able to achieve sports related goals like being in the National Basketball association or National Football League. Determining your physical capabilities should be one of your priorities. Physical limitations could however be conquered with proper planning.

As the saying goes -'All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy', or something to that effect, is by all means true down to the last the letter. Giving yourself a little pleasure: should be included into your plans.

To start achieving your lifetime goals, set a quarter of a century plan, then break it down to 5 year plans then break it down again to 1 year plans, then 6 month plans then monthly plans, then weekly, then daily.

Then create a things-to-do list for the day.

Always review your plans and prepare for contingencies.

The basics of goal settings should not be so difficult once you get to be familiar with them.

Six Keys to Self-Confidence

By Terry Wisner -

A young lady approached me after a recent customer service seminar and expressed a need to improve her self-confidence. She believed her career prospects were limited by her personal insecurity. Furthermore, she asked if the Partnering Process would work for her. As those of you who are regular readers of this publication know, Partnering can help any two people become more successful at whatever they want to do. The good thing is that she is aware she needs to improve and has the desire to improve. So I, of course, told her to use the process and focus her plan on these keys to enhancing self-confidence.

Leave the past behind. Don’t get hung-up on past failures and disappointments. Often people rehash past failures and predict they will fail again. The question everyone needs to answer is: What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail? A person cannot redo what they did yesterday, however, they can change what they will do tomorrow.

Remember the wins. As people progress towards their personal improvement goals, they need to look at the little successes and celebrate them. Obstacles will impede progress, as they are overcome, they will encourage greater confidence. It’s a good idea to keep a daily journal of accomplishments to visit when it feels like little progress has been achieved. It is experience, both good and bad, that builds confidence.

Gain knowledge. One of the best ways to bolster confidence is to equip oneself with knowledge. The more knowledge acquired… the stronger the self-confidence. Learn more about the profession you have chosen, more about your company’s products and services, more about the people that surround you, more about your customers, and more about people in general.

Hang with the eagles. It’s probably easier to soar like an eagle when surrounded by nothing but turkeys. However, if a person spends time with people that are more confident than they are, it is quite likely they will improve their own self-confidence. Like many folks, my scores on the golf course are better whenever I golf with players that are superior in skill. Maybe I concentrate more. Maybe I focus on my game more. Or maybe I just try harder.

Go for the low hanging fruit. When building self-confidence, look for opportunities to succeed. In the planning process, set attainable short-term goals to help boost confidence. It is important to steer away from uncertainty. For example: a person that wishes to enhance their presentation skills and overcome their fear of speaking might want to do some one-on-one presentations before trusted friends. The second step might be to join Toastmasters or enroll in a Dale Carnegie class. After developing their skills, then they may ask if they could do more presentations before customers or leadership teams.

Start each day off well. I will be the first to tell you this sounds a little ridiculous, but it works. Begin each day with positive affirmations about how confident you are becoming. And believe it! Literally look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that your self-confidence is improving. These positive declarations will reinforce the other actions you have taken to enhance your self-confidence.

The Earl of Chatham, William Pitt, in 1766 said that “confidence is a plant of slow growth.” Self-confidence cannot be attained easily or rapidly. It requires determination, a well thought-out plan, and a Partner to provide support, feedback, and encouragement. Share these six keys to enhancing self-confidence with others who may grow and improve through Partnering To Success.

Terry Wisner, the “Partnering Pro,” International Speaker, Consultant, and author, shares his experience and knowledge through energetic, entertaining, and enlghtening presentations and seminars. Do you want to experience improvement in; Customer Service, Teamwork, Leadership Skills, Communication Skills, or simply Self-Improvement? Then, visit Terry at http://www.terrywisner.com or http://www.p2s.us and learn more about Partnering and how it can help you and your organization succeed.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Terry_Wisner
http://EzineArticles.com/?Six-Keys-to-Self-Confidence&id=280569
=

About: Guest Contributor:
The "Guest Contributor" represents an article chosen from EzineArticles.com or that was submitted on an random basis.

View the original article here

Overcoming the Guilt and Shame of Rape and Childhood Trauma

Share

Self improvement is different for everyone, even more-so for survivors of rape and childhood trauma.  I know this is a sensitive subject, but it’s one that impacts so many lives and it needs to be addressed.

As recent as one year ago, I couldn’t speak these words (or even think about them) without feeling physically ill.  Today I can openly say that I was raped multiple times as a young child.

Throughout my life I have carried the burden of overwhelming guilt and shame as if it was somehow my fault.  I laid awake at night wondering if I could’ve fought a little harder, screamed a little louder, ran a little faster. I tortured myself with thoughts of what I should’ve and could’ve done differently.

I wore a smile that covered up indescribable pain, incessant fear, and emotional agony.  The questions replayed in my head over and over and over.  Was I too stupid, weak, or pathetic to defend myself?  Nobody stood up for me—was that because I was undeserving, unworthy, unwanted, unlovable? What was it about me that made me his choice?

I wasted so much time on self blame.  In my adult years, my way of dealing with it was to completely suppress it.  I pushed it out of my head, swearing that I wouldn’t think about it ever again.  Little did anyone know, it was right there under the surface.

It was there in my timid, apprehensive demeanor.  I was afraid of everything.  Afraid to trust people because they may see in me the same vulnerable little girl that he saw.  Afraid to tell anyone my big secret.  Afraid of being judged for not coming forth, for not escaping, for allowing myself to be a victim.  Nonetheless, I was a highly functioning, successful young woman who did a great job of keeping this secret at bay.  Little did I know, it was only a matter of time before it resurfaced.

While being sexually harassed on the job, everything I’d tried to forget came back to me.  The sexual harassment was not rape, but it was a trigger that caused serious emotional re-injury.  Suddenly, I found myself in that familiar place—blaming myself, wondering why me, too ashamed to speak up, too afraid to defend myself.

Once again, I internalized what was happening to me and assumed responsibility for the actions of the perpetrator.  The nightmares, hypervigilance, insomnia, fear, constant worry, self blame, and feelings of helplessness hit me like a ton of bricks.  I was 11 years old again—but now in a grown woman’s body.

I hated the person who was doing this to me, but I didn’t hate him as much as I hated myself.  I wanted a way out of this life.  The world seemed like such a scary place and I just wanted to escape.  After all, I couldn’t even go to work without feeling afraid.

Suicide crossed my mind frequently just as it had when I was a kid.  I wanted to feel safe.  I wanted to stop being afraid.  I wanted to go somewhere that I wouldn’t have to stand up for myself since I didn’t have the courage to do so.  But then again…maybe I did have the courage after all.

Fast forward…

With a little help from a friend, I made some “big girl” decisions.  I reported the creep that was harassing me at work and took measures to sue the company for negligently leaving me in harm’s way.  That’s not all I did.

I checked into a program designed to help people with post traumatic stress disorder.  That’s right—I admitted that I had not truly dealt with what happened to me as a child. I admitted that I needed help, I took responsibility into my own hands, and I committed to taking back control over my life. That step alone took a lot more courage than I thought I had.

When I say the journey has been a hard one, it is the ultimate understatement. However, it is so worth it.

One thing that helped me to overcome the guilt and shame was to put things into perspective.  I was told to drive by schools and look at 10 to 12 year old kids.  As I watched them play and laugh, I couldn’t imagine why I blamed myself for so long.  I looked at these kids and realized that there is no way in hell anyone in their right mind would fault them for being violated in the way that I was.  It couldn’t possibly be the child’s fault.

To think of one of those kids blaming herself for being raped—oh how it makes my heart ache.  When I take myself out of the equation, replacing me with another person, I see so clearly that the guilt and shame of rape are not warranted.

I acted like a child because I was a child.  I did what I could to defend myself.  The person I confided in did not help me, but that is also not my fault.  No child can be held responsible for the actions of an adult. And no child deserves to be violated.

As suggested by my therapist, I wrote a letter to my rapist.  In this letter, I didn’t hold anything back. I gave myself permission to express every single feeling that I’d been holding in since that day.  I even read the letter aloud to a group.  And I did so shamelessly.

More than anything, what came out was anger.  Anger turned inward is depression, so it makes sense that I hurt so much for so long.  Finally, I let it out and let it go.  I gave ownership of the wrong to the person who committed the wrong.

Through this letter, I released myself from all responsibility for what happened.  But the best part of what came out of writing that letter was forgiveness. Despite all the hurt and pain I’d felt, I forgave him.  Not because I give a damn about him or his life, but because I deserve to be free.  Forgiveness is the key to that freedom.

I will never forget the experience of being raped, but I am no longer ashamed of it.  I am spilling my guts right now to anyone who cares to read this.  I couldn’t have done that a year ago, but I am doing it today because I know there is nothing to be ashamed of. I no longer carry the guilt around like a boulder on my shoulders.

Finally, after years of not dealing with this trauma, I AM FREE.

If you’ve been through something similar, I wish you peace of mind and a complete emotional recovery.  Healing is absolutely, 100% possible and you can overcome the guilt and shame.

I am not implying that writing a letter is all you need for healing. My healing also included Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), several weeks of intensive therapy, inner child work and more.  The journey continues; however, I’m able to move on with life as a new and improved me. Now that’s what I call self improvement.

You May Also Like:

33 Life Lessons in 33 Years

Life’s Struggles: Who Would You Be Without Them?

Please share this post to show your support: Tagged as: Emotions, Self improvement techniques

View the original article here

"The Way to Wellness" It's time to start a Healthy life: your 7 days program

How many times have you gone to sleep at night, swearing you'll go to the gym in the morning, and then changing your mind just eight hours later because when you get up, you don't feel like exercising?

While this can happen to the best of us, it doesn't mean you should drop the ball altogether when it comes to staying fit. What people need to realize is that staying active and eating right are critical for long-term health and wellness -- and that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. The more you know about how your body responds to your lifestyle choices, the better you can customize a nutrition and exercise plan that is right for you. When you eat well, increase your level of physical activity, and exercise at the proper intensity, you are informing your body that you want to burn a substantial amount of fuel. This translates to burning fat more efficiently for energy.

In other words, proper eating habits plus exercise equals fast metabolism, which, in turn gives you more energy throughout the day and allows you to do more physical work with less effort.

The true purpose of exercise is to send a repetitive message to the body asking for improvement in metabolism, strength, aerobic capacity and overall fitness and health. Each time you exercise, your body responds by upgrading its capabilities to burn fat throughout the day and night, Exercise doesn't have to be intense to work for you, but it does need to be consistent.

I recommend engaging in regular cardiovascular exercise four times per week for 20 to 30 minutes per session, and resistance training four times per week for 20 to 25 minutes per session. This balanced approach provides a one-two punch, incorporating aerobic exercise to burn fat and deliver more oxygen, and resistance training to increase lean body mass and burn more calories around the block.

Here's a sample exercise program that may work for you:

* Warm Up -- seven to eight minutes of light aerobic activity intended to increase blood flow and lubricate and warm-up your tendons and joints.

* Resistance Training -- Train all major muscle groups. One to two sets of each exercise. Rest 45 seconds between sets.

* Aerobic Exercise -- Pick two favorite activities, they could be jogging, rowing, biking or cross-country skiing, whatever fits your lifestyle. Perform 12 to 15 minutes of the first activity and continue with 10 minutes of the second activity. Cool down during the last five minutes.

* Stretching -- Wrap up your exercise session by stretching, breathing deeply, relaxing and meditating.

When starting an exercise program, it is important to have realistic expectations. Depending on your initial fitness level, you should expect the following changes early on.

* From one to eight weeks -- Feel better and have more energy.

* From two to six months -- Lose size and inches while becoming leaner. Clothes begin to fit more loosely. You are gaining muscle and losing fat.

* After six months -- Start losing weight quite rapidly.

Once you make the commitment to exercise several times a week, don't stop there. You should also change your diet and/or eating habits,' says Zwiefel. Counting calories or calculating grams and percentages for certain nutrients is impractical. Instead, I suggest these easy-to-follow guidelines:

* Eat several small meals (optimally four) and a couple of small snacks throughout the day

* Make sure every meal is balanced -- incorporate palm-sized proteins like lean meats, fish, egg whites and dairy products, fist-sized portions of complex carbohydrates like whole-wheat bread and pasta, wild rice, multigrain cereal and potatoes, and fist-sized portions of vegetable and fruits

* Limit your fat intake to only what's necessary for adequate flavor

* Drink at least eight 8-oz. glasses of water throughout the day

* I also recommend that you take a multi-vitamin each day to ensure you are getting all the vitamins and minerals your body needs.

I suppose that's all I can think of for now. I should extend my thanks to a doctor friend of mine. Without him, I wouldn't be able to write this article, or keep my sanity.

Enjoy life, we all deserve it.

UNLOCK YOUR SELF IMPROVEMENT POWER

When we look at a certain object, a painting for example – we won’t be able to appreciate what’s in it, what is painted and what else goes with it if the painting is just an inch away from our face. But if we try to take it a little further, we’ll have a clearer vision of the whole art work.

We reach a point in our life when we are ready for change and a whole bunch of information that will help us unlock our self improvement power. Until then, something can be staring us right under our nose but we don’t see it. The only time we think of unlocking our self improvement power is when everything got worst. Take the frog principle for example –

Try placing Frog A in a pot of boiling water. What happens? He twerps! He jumps off! Why? Because he is not able to tolerate sudden change in his environment – the water’s temperature. Then try Frog B: place him in a luke warm water, then turn the gas stove on. Wait til the water reaches a certain boiling point. Frog B then thinks “Ooh… it’s a bit warm in here”.

People are like Frog B in general. Today, Anna thinks Carl hates her. Tomorrow, Patrick walks up to her and told her he hates her. Anna stays the same and doesn’t mind her what her friends says. The next day, she learned that Kim and John also abhors her. Anna doesn’t realize at once the importance and the need for self improvement until the entire community hates her.

We learn our lessons when we experience pain. We finally see the warning signs and signals when things get rough and tough. When do we realize that we need to change diets? When none of our jeans and shirts would fit us. When do we stop eating candies and chocolates? When all of our teeth has fallen off. When do we realize that we need to stop smoking? When our lungs have gone bad. When do we pray and ask for help? When we realize that we’re gonna die tomorrow.

The only time most of us ever learn about unlocking our self improvement power is when the whole world is crashing and falling apart. We think and feel this way because it is not easy to change. But change becomes more painful when we ignore it.

Change will happen, like it or hate it. At one point or another, we are all going to experience different turning points in our life – and we are all going to eventually unlock our self improvement power not because the world says so, not because our friends are nagging us, but because we realized its for our own good.

Happy people don’t just accept change, they embrace it. Now, you don’t have to feel a tremendous heat before realizing the need for self improvement. Unlocking your self improvement power means unlocking yourself up in the cage of thought that “its just the way I am”. It is such a poor excuse for people who fear and resist change. Most of us program our minds like computers.

Jen repeatedly tells everyone that she doesn’t have the guts to be around groups of people. She heard her mom, her dad, her sister, her teacher tell the same things about her to other people. Over the years, that is what Jen believes. She believes its her story. And what happens? Every time a great crowd would troop over their house, in school, and in the community – she tends to step back, shy away and lock herself up in a room. Jen didn’t only believed in her story, she lived it.

Jen has to realize that she is not what she is in her story. Instead of having her story post around her face for everyone to remember, she has to have the spirit and show people “I am an important person and I should be treated accordingly!”

Self improvement may not be everybody’s favorite word, but if we look at things in a different point of view, we might have greater chances of enjoying the whole process instead of counting the days until we are fully improved. Three sessions in a week at the gym would result to a healthier life, reading books instead of looking at porns will shape up a more profound knowledge, going out with friends and peers will help you take a step back from work and unwind. And just when you are enjoying the whole process of unlocking your self improvement power, you’ll realize that you’re beginning to take things light and become happy.

Inspirational Words: Compassion and Suffering

Share

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

When we are hurt by someone, our first instinct is not to help them or to show compassion.  Unfortunately, our immediate reaction may be to lash out or retaliate.  But what does this accomplish?

By enjoying a moment of revenge, we miss out on the opportunity to help others and to change the world we live in.  We are all a part of the same wonderful Source, so let’s choose to remember this even in times of strife.  One by one, we can show love and compassion for others, thus making this world a better place. Let us start today.

We all know that life is full of suffering, but not everyone knows how to cope.  You may be ignored, cursed, looked down upon, or cut off in traffic.  You may be insulted, yelled at, ridiculed or belittled.  No matter what mistreatment you face, stop for a moment to consider the suffering of the person who is harming you.  Instead of judging them or responding in an equally cruel manner, make a higher choice.  Be the “bigger” person.

Chances are good that the person who hurts you is not inherently evil.  He or she is just someone who is suffering deep within. Consider the pain that may be the root of his actions.  Even if it takes every bit of goodness within you to see the bigger picture, you are capable of the Highest choices.  You are capable of love, restraint, and compassion for others.

Everyone suffers at some point in their life, yet there is nothing stopping you (or me) from dealing with each other more gently, more lovingly.  Nothing prevents you from showing compassion for others.  Once you understand that hurt people hurt people, the answer becomes clear.

Fighting fire with fire only makes more fire.  By the same token, hurting someone who is hurt only creates more hurt in the world.  What role will you have in this vicious cycle? Will you help it to continue repeating itself?  Will you begin to break that cycle by helping instead others instead of retaliating?

Rudeness, frowning faces, aggression, bad attitudes, hot tempers—these are the defense mechanisms of a person in pain. Will you reach out with compassion, even if it means resisting your overwhelming desire to retaliate?  Will you listen more closely to what they’re truly crying out for—recognition, help, love, peace, relief, understanding, appreciation. You know the Highest choice, but will you make it?

Love those who are hurting. Bestow compassion and positive energy upon them. This is the path to healing.  As long as one of us is suffering and in need of healing, there is work for the rest of us to do.

Please share this post to show your support: Tagged as: Compassion, inspirational thoughts, inspirational words

View the original article here

Be Yourself – Live Without Fear – Love Life

By Ariole K Alei -

These are the amazing words of one of Shirley MacLaine’s guides, as disclosed to her in one of her many vibrant, soul-revealing books.

When you think of someone who loves life, what do you think of? Someone who

o is passionate about being alive?

o is their authentic self?

o dances to their own drummer?

o appears fearless?

Being fearless, being our authentic self, and loving life all go hand in hand. They are like close and intimate cousins. As allies, they propel each other into existence.

How can you become more alive and in love with life?

1. Notice the ways in which you wear costumes and masks – ways that you ‘protect’ yourself and ‘hide’ yourself, through nervous laughter, a tough persona, stoic independence, or appearing to ‘not care’ as examples. Be real. Be honest – with yourself and thus with the world. Open your heart. Love more.

2. Notice the ways in which you are tough on yourself. How critical are you – both in how you relate to yourself and how you internally speak to yourself? Love yourself more. Be compassionate toward yourself. Be caring and gentle toward yourself. There is nothing inherently wrong with you – no matter who you are.

3. Uncover your passion for life. Brighten your inner light bulb. There is nothing beautiful or admirable about a person who is dull. You are not dull. You may allow yourself to behave shyly, or appear disinterested. These are merely conditioned ways of ‘playing safe’. Take a risk. Go for it. Do something that you’ve always been curious about or have wanted to explore. Now’s the time. Today is when you are truly living.

4. Notice when you feel scared or afraid. Ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” In doing so you ‘shine the light of consciousness on’ what was looming over you and controlling your comfort and ease and love of life. Once you reveal it, notice how it shrinks – how you ‘disarm it’ by simply becoming aware of it. You put it into perspective. As you realize what it is that you’re afraid of, ask yourself, “What can I do to move forward toward what I want, even while I feel a little bit afraid?” It’s as if you take the fear by its hand – just like you would a child – and gently bring it with you. It stops screaming. It stops attempting to manipulate you and steal your attention. It stops freezing you. … It comes with you … And both you and it discover the joys of what it is that you want to explore and discover. It and you love life.

5. Take time to explore what your heart yearns for. This is your soul giving you ‘clues’ of what will make you really, really happy and fulfilled. Notice when you tend to deny the calling of your soul – your desire to explore things, your desire to experience things. Pay more attention to giving your soul what it is calling for – and you will discover that you are Being Yourself – Loving Life – and Living Without Fear!

Ariole K. Alei is a Tele Class Leader, Keynote Speaker, Coach and Author of 7 books. She is the Co-Founder with her husband Colin Hillstrom of HeartSong Matchmaking – “the world’s first holistic meeting site for singles interested in spirituality and ecology” and its ‘sister’ – HeartSong Life and Relationship Training. She leads international Tele Classes on a variety of topics. [http://www.heartsongmatchmaking.com/]

http://www.HeartSongSolutions.ca

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ariole_K_Alei
http://EzineArticles.com/?Be-Yourself—Live-Without-Fear—Love-Life&id=982327

About: Guest Contributor:
The "Guest Contributor" represents an article chosen from EzineArticles.com or that was submitted on an random basis.

View the original article here

10 Good Habits Worth Having

You are here: Home / Self Improvement / 10 Good Habits Worth Having

By Renee Allert -

Have you ever tried to get rid of a bad habit like smoking or eating too much? Did you succeed? I know it’s hard to successfully break bad habits, so why not concentrate on the good stuff? Why not strive to establish some good habits worth having?

Sounds easy, but where to start? What are good habits worth having? Which are worth to put the effort in, to improve myself step by step?

I have my personal list of good habits I think are worth having or developing. No, I haven’t conquered all of them, but I am working towards it. There are more, so my list is by far not complete, but you have to start somewhere.

10 Good Habits Worth Having

So, here we go – my personal list of good habits to support my self improvement:

Daily Exercise
It has to be on the top of my list because your physical state influences your mind so much – no way of getting around that. I know, it’s hard to break the bad habit of doing nothing, but you will have more energy, more stamina; lose weight (if you want to) and be more relaxed and at ease. Don’t go for a marathon straight away, start small, just 10min 3 times per week will do. Increase it slowly to every day, increase the daily time – you won’t want to miss it once you are in the rhythm.Relax – Also Daily
That’s a point most of us tend to forget. Your Body (and Mind) need both – stimulation and relaxation. Your immune system and overall health will benefit from this habit. Daily Relaxation doesn’t mean just hanging on the sofa – sorry. Try a more active approach: taking time out and being aware of it. Give meditation, yoga or relaxation techniques like Progressive Muscle Relaxation a try. Your body and mind will recover much better compared to just hanging out in front of the TV. Best is to develop it into a daily habit – it is definitely a good habit to have!Healthy Food
“You are what You eat”. Your body (and mind) take their energy from the food you provide. The better the quality of your nutrition the better you will feel. If you are not there yet start with small steps. Introduce one piece of fruit and one vegetable to your meals every day to start with and go from there. Good habits need time to develop.Positive Self Image
You are the person who will be with you all your life, 24/7. You are the most important person in your life. You are totally unique, and you can be proud of yourself. Make a list of what you have achieved in your life, dream big and make sure you remind yourself of all your good attributes. Start with saying “I love you” to yourself every morning in the mirror. Ever tried? It felt very strange to me to say it out aloud, but it helps to feel good with yourself.Wealthy Thoughts
“Wealth” is not limited to money, you can be wealthy (or poor) in all areas of life, like in relationships, emotions, experience. But also financially. Acknowledge what you have achieved already and strive for more. Imagine how it can be, where you can develop more wealth. Think it on a regular (daily) basis and your life will be abundant. We become what we think about.Get a Good Night’s Sleep
In our fast paced society sometimes I hear that “sleep is overrated”. From your body’s perspective it is not. Make sure that you sleep well (and enough) every night. Your mind and body need that time to recover and digest what happened throughout the day. Don’t cut yourself short, you deserve the best.Life Long Learning
When did you last learn something new? That doesn’t necessarily mean getting (another) degree – reading a new book about a topic that you are interested in, trying a new sport or learning a new language counts towards your learning. Your brain is like a muscle and needs that stimulus to stay fit. Developing a new good habit means you learn something new too.Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff
Do you get annoyed easily? Are you angry because you got stuck in a traffic jam? Or the food took ages at the restaurant? There is so much happening in your life, make sure you don’t spend all your energy on things that are not worth it (and anger uses energy big time). So get into the habit of checking with yourself “Will this matter in 12 month time?”. If the answer is no – why waste energy on it today?Know What You Want Make sure you know what you want – and ask for it. If you don’t do that, how are others (and the universe) supposed to know what you want? It is amazing how easy you can get the things you want if you actually manage to ask for them (in a nice way of course). It will increase your confidence and self esteem when you develop this good habit.Practice Gratitude Are you aware of all the good stuff in your life? I know, it’s much easier to complain and see what is missing. But is it really that important to own the latest gadget? Envying others for what they have isn’t healthy and doesn’t get you to achieve your goals. A much better habit is to practice gratitude. You can do the following experiment: for 30 days every evening when you go to bed think about your day and remember the good things. Write them down. Be grateful for them. See if it changes how you feel about your life. If not, nothing is lost. If it does – keep on practising this great habit.

I am sure there are more good habits worth having out there. What is your favourite good habit? What would you add to my list?

Interested in Self Improvement? Follow Renee on her journey of constant Self Improvement on her Blog http://lawofselfimprovement.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Renee_Allert
http://EzineArticles.com/?10-Good-Habits-Worth-Having&id=4258045

About: Guest Contributor:
The "Guest Contributor" represents an article chosen from EzineArticles.com or that was submitted on an random basis.
Tagged with 10 Good Habits Worth Having

View the original article here

Happy as You Want to Be

Almost everyone have heard the hit single 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' by Bobby McFerrin. The song has a very catchy way of conveying its message of being happy to everyone. Bobby Mcferiin's simple message surely made a lot of people by telling them not to worry.

Living a happy, resilient and optimistic life is wonderful, and is also good for your health. Being happy actually protects you from the stresses of life. Stress is linked to top causes of death such as heart disease, cancer and stroke.

One of the better things ever said is - 'The only thing in life that will always remain the same is change', and in our life we have the power to make the necessary changes if we want to. Even if we find ourselves in an unbearable situation we can always find solace in the knowledge that it too would change.

Social networks or relationships are essential to happiness. People are different, accept people for who or what they are, avoid clashes, constant arguments, and let go of all kinds of resentments. If arguments seem unavoidable still try and make an effort to understand the situation and you might just get along with well with

Happiness is actually found in everyone, increasing it is a way to make a life more wonderful and also more healthy.

To be happy is relatively easy, just decide to be a happy person. Abraham Lincoln observed that most people for most of the time can choose how happy or stressed, how relaxed or troubled, how bright or dull their outlook to be. The choice is simple really, choose to be happy.

There are several ways by which you can do this.

Being grateful is a great attitude. We have so much to be thankful for. Thank the taxi driver for bringing you home safely, thank the cook for a wonderful dinner and thank the guy who cleans your windows. Also thank the mailman for bringing you your mails, thank the policeman for making your place safe and thank God for being alive.

News is stressful. Get less of it. Some people just can't start their day without their daily dose of news. Try and think about it, 99% of the news we hear or read is bad news. Starting the day with bad news does not seem to be a sensible thing to do.

A religious connection is also recommended. Being part of a religious group with its singing, sacraments, chanting, prayers and meditations foster inner peace.

Manage your time. Time is invaluable and too important to waste. Time management can be viewed as a list of rules that involves scheduling, setting goals, planning, creating lists of things to do and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management that should be understood to develop an efficient personal time management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned further to include the finer points of each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire.

Laugh and laugh heartily everyday. Heard a good joke? Tell your friends or family about it. As they also say -'Laughter is the best medicine'.

Express your feelings, affections, friendship and passion to people around you. They will most likely reciprocate your actions. Try not to keep pent up anger of frustrations, this is bad for your health. Instead find ways of expressing them in a way that will not cause more injury or hurt to anyone.

Working hard brings tremendous personal satisfaction. It gives a feeling of being competent in finishing our tasks. Accomplishments are necessary for all of us, they give us a sense of value. Work on things that you feel worthy of your time.

Learning is a joyful exercise. Try and learn something new everyday. Learning also makes us expand and broaden our horizons. And could also give us more opportunities in the future.

Run, jog, walk and do other things that your body was made for. Feel alive.

Avoid exposure to negative elements like loud noises, toxins and hazardous places.

These are the few simple things you can do everyday to be happy.

And always remember the quote from Abraham Lincoln, he says that, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

25 Amazing Self Improvement Ideas

Share

Fun, challenging, rewarding, exhilarating, joyful, satisfying. Are these the words that describe your life? I sure hope they do. In fact, I wish these words were the description of everyone’s life. To the contrary, millions of people continuously seek self improvement information to help them cope with a life that doesn’t measure up to their dreams.

This list of 25 self improvement ideas is not meant to be an all encompassing life fixer-upper, but it is a powerful starting place. No matter how great (or not so great) your life may be, applying some of these life changing self improvement ideas will help to make your days a little brighter.

1. Practice patience with yourself and others. Instead of rushing through life, pause to fully experience the journey.

2. Try to understand others instead of judging them. Look closely at your perception of others for opportunities to be more loving, tolerant, compassionate, and open minded.

3. Listen more than you talk. Listening skills are the core of all knowledge, personal growth, self development, and success. You’ll be amazed by what you learn when you close your mouth and listen intently to those around you. In all that you do, open your ears and heart.

4. Surround yourself with positive, motivated people. It’s easier to accomplish self improvement goals when your inner circle is filled with those who share your ambitions.

5. Reduce or eliminate communication with toxic people. Allowing growth often means letting go of those things (and people) that do not serve you. Detachment from sources of negativity is not always easy, but it’s a big step towards self improvement success.

6. Learn to apply Universal Law of Attraction. As you understand how your thoughts create your reality, it becomes crystal clear that self improvement is a matter of attracting your desires through deliberate creation.

7. Begin and end each day with meditation. Meditation is a wonderful way to reduce stress, creating a sense of inner peace and calm. The physical and emotional benefits show up in all aspects of your life.

8. Watch less T.V. If productivity, mindfulness, positivity, and/or brain fitness are important self improvement goals to you, it’s a great idea to give up your addiction to television.

9. Live in the present moment. Learning to accept both the unchangeable past and the unpredictable future is the only way to live your best life. Life is happening now and only now.

10. Hypnosis. Hypnosis can be used effectively to stop smoking, lose weight, feel more confident, overcome phobias, and accomplish many other positive changes.

11. Write and recite positive affirmations. With daily practice, positive affirmations become positive beliefs; and positive beliefs create positive life experiences.

12. Listen to positive subliminal messages. Subliminal messaging can be used to bypass the logical part of your mind that makes it hard to believe (and benefit from) positive affirmations. This is a wonderful self help method for combating deeply held negative beliefs.

13. Forgive yourself for past mistakes. The only thing worse than holding grudges against others is holding grudges against yourself. By forgiving yourself for failures and mistakes, you become free of emotional baggage that may stunt your personal growth.

15. Be a better friend. True friends are the meat of your support system, thus nurturing these friendships is a powerful part of improving your life. Once you identify the friends that you hold dearest to your heart, dedicate the time and effort required to foster these important bonds.

16. Be wisely selfish. Always remember to take care of yourself first and foremost. The better you are to yourself, the better you can be for others.

17. Practice healthy relationship skills. The quality of your relationships is a direct correlation to the quality of your life. Self improvement and relationship improvement go hand in hand.

18. Define your fundamental values and boundaries. When you know who you are and where you stand, it’s easier to make decisions and to teach others how to treat you.

19. Replace aggressive and/or passive behaviors with assertiveness. Whether you avoid confrontation or step on toes whenever you please, you may still benefit from assertiveness training. Learn the art of getting your needs met and going about it in the best possible way.

20. Get over the quest for perfectionism. To increase productivity and overall life satisfaction, give yourself permission to embrace imperfection. Nothing is more counterproductive than waiting around for people or circumstances to be just right.

21. Get plenty of exercise, preferably outside in nature. Ever heard the saying, “Use it or lose it?” This definitely applies to your body. Keep those muscles working and you’ll reap the enormous benefits of treating your body with loving care.

22. Eat a healthy diet. No matter how much you exercise, it is still important to eat right. They say you are what you eat. I’m not sure if anyone has ever turned into a french fry, but I do know that we end up looking and feeling like what we eat. If you survive on food that’s crappy, there’s a good chance that you’ll look and feel the same.

23. Perform self esteem exercises. No matter how you look or what you accomplish, it is important to feel good about yourself. Self improvement works from the inside out and there are several self esteem exercises that can help you build the confidence necessary to take life to another level.

24. Choose a spiritual path that resonates with your Inner Being. Spirituality is important for everyone. Even if it means straying away from the religion of your childhood, get in touch with the spiritual you.

25. Eliminate argument techniques that cause resentment and ineffective communication. Disagreements are not avoidable, but you can handle them in a way that resolves problems rather than multiplying them.

Ok…it’s time for comments. Which of the 25 self improvement ideas will you starting applying? Have you already applied some of them successfully? Is there any other self improvement information that you’d like to share?

Please share this post to show your support: Tagged as: personal growth, Self improvement information, Self improvement techniques

View the original article here

Inspirational Words: Compassion and Suffering

Share

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

When we are hurt by someone, our first instinct is not to help them or to show compassion.  Unfortunately, our immediate reaction may be to lash out or retaliate.  But what does this accomplish?

By enjoying a moment of revenge, we miss out on the opportunity to help others and to change the world we live in.  We are all a part of the same wonderful Source, so let’s choose to remember this even in times of strife.  One by one, we can show love and compassion for others, thus making this world a better place. Let us start today.

We all know that life is full of suffering, but not everyone knows how to cope.  You may be ignored, cursed, looked down upon, or cut off in traffic.  You may be insulted, yelled at, ridiculed or belittled.  No matter what mistreatment you face, stop for a moment to consider the suffering of the person who is harming you.  Instead of judging them or responding in an equally cruel manner, make a higher choice.  Be the “bigger” person.

Chances are good that the person who hurts you is not inherently evil.  He or she is just someone who is suffering deep within. Consider the pain that may be the root of his actions.  Even if it takes every bit of goodness within you to see the bigger picture, you are capable of the Highest choices.  You are capable of love, restraint, and compassion for others.

Everyone suffers at some point in their life, yet there is nothing stopping you (or me) from dealing with each other more gently, more lovingly.  Nothing prevents you from showing compassion for others.  Once you understand that hurt people hurt people, the answer becomes clear.

Fighting fire with fire only makes more fire.  By the same token, hurting someone who is hurt only creates more hurt in the world.  What role will you have in this vicious cycle? Will you help it to continue repeating itself?  Will you begin to break that cycle by helping instead others instead of retaliating?

Rudeness, frowning faces, aggression, bad attitudes, hot tempers—these are the defense mechanisms of a person in pain. Will you reach out with compassion, even if it means resisting your overwhelming desire to retaliate?  Will you listen more closely to what they’re truly crying out for—recognition, help, love, peace, relief, understanding, appreciation. You know the Highest choice, but will you make it?

Love those who are hurting. Bestow compassion and positive energy upon them. This is the path to healing.  As long as one of us is suffering and in need of healing, there is work for the rest of us to do.

Please share this post to show your support: Tagged as: Compassion, inspirational thoughts, inspirational words

View the original article here

"A Better You" Your 7 days program to self-improvement

I seem to lost count on how many times I've read and heard of celebrity marriages failing almost left and right. Not that I care (and personally I don't), it seems strange that we often see movie and TV stars as flawless people, living the fairytale life of riches and glamour. I suppose we all have to stop sticking our heads in the clouds and face reality.

There are many ways to lose your sense of self-esteem despite of how trivial it could get. But whatever happens, we should all try not to lose our own sense of self.

So what does it take to be a cut above the rest? Here are some of the things you can think and improve on that should be enough for a week.

1. Know your purpose

Are you wandering through life with little direction - hoping that you'll find happiness, health and prosperity? Identify your life purpose or mission statement and you will have your own unique compass that will lead you to your truth north every time.

This may seem tricky at first when you see yourself to be in a tight or even dead end. But there's always that little loophole to turn things around and you can make a big difference to yourself.

2. Know your values

What do you value most? Make a list of your top 5 values. Some examples are security, freedom, family, spiritual development, learning. As you set your goals for 2005 - check your goals against your values. If the goal doesn't align with any of your top five values - you may want to reconsider it or revise it.

The number shouldn't discourage you, instead it should motivate you to do more than you can ever dreamed of.

3. Know your needs

Unmet needs can keep you from living authentically. Take care of yourself. Do you have a need to be acknowledged, to be right, to be in control, to be loved? There are so many people who lived their lives without realizing their dreams and most of them end up being stressed or even depressed for that matter. List your top four needs and get them met before it's too late!

4. Know your passions

You know who you are and what you truly enjoy in life. Obstacles like doubt and lack of enthusiasm will only hinder you, but will not derail your chance to become the person you ought to be. Express yourself and honor the people who has inspired you to become the very person you wanted to be.

5. Live from the inside out

Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regularly reflecting in silence. Commune with nature. Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind. For most of us city slickers it's hard to even find the peace and quiet we want even in our own home. In my case I often just sit in a dimly lit room and play some classical music. There's sound, yes, but music does soothe the savage beast.

6. Honor your strengths

What are your positive traits? What special talents do you have? List three - if you get stuck, ask those closest to you to help identify these. Are you imaginative, witty, good with your hands? Find ways to express your authentic self through your strengths. You can increase your self-confidence when you can share what you know to others.

7. Serve others

When you live authentically, you may find that you develop an interconnected sense of being. When you are true to who you are, living your purpose and giving of your talents to the world around you, you give back in service what you came to share with others -your spirit - your essence. The rewards for sharing your gift with those close to you is indeed rewarding, much more if it were to be the eyes of a stranger who can appreciate what you have done to them.

Self-improvement is indeed one type of work that is worth it. It shouldn't always be within the confines of an office building, or maybe in the four corners of your own room. The difference lies within ourselves and how much we want to change for the better.

75 Ways to Show Love in Relationships

Share

If you’re married or in a serious relationship, you’re no stranger to the phrase, “I love you.” You can say those 3 little words to your partner one million times, but we all know that it has to be followed up with action.

Showing love isn’t an exact science. We all speak different love languages, so you may show love in a way that your spouse doesn’t understand (and vice versa).  Well, it doesn’t have to remain that way.

Happy couples’ love for each other and dedication to the relationship lead to many adjustments in the way they show love to each other. If what you’re doing isn’t working for your relationship, it may be time to change your approach.  Use this list of 75 ways to show love as a guide to loving your mate in a way that may save your relationship or just take it to a new level of awesomeness.

1. A kiss on the forehead
2. Uninterrupted quality time
3. A note under the pillow
4. Tell him when he looks masculine, sexy, or hot
5. Turn a regular day into an All-About-You day just for your mate
6. Breakfast served in bed
7. A romantic picnic indoors
8. An unexpected dinner cruise
9. Propose marriage on one knee
10. Don’t complain when he leaves the toilet seat up
11. A rose on the pillow
12. Tell her she’s beautiful
13. Pour on the chivalry (open doors, pull her chair out)
14. A bubble bath with rose petals and her favorite scented candles
15. Verbalize what your relationship means to you
16. Surprise her with her favorite flowers and candy
17. An “I love you because…” list
18. PDA (public displays of affection)
19. Heart shaped pancakes or cookies
20. A walk in the park together
21. Hold your beloved a little tighter and longer than usual
22. Do some of his/her chores
23. A handwritten card sprayed with your scent
24. Spoil each other
25. Renew your marriage vows
26. Be first to say “I’m sorry” after an argument
27. Personalize (i.e. engrave) gifts
28. Place an “I love you” flyer under the car’s windshield wiper
29. Send a surprise gift to his/her workplace
30. Support each other’s dreams
31. Make love slowly, passionately
32. Run his bath water
33. Give your spouse space when needed
34. Buy her feminine hygiene products (before she asks)
35. Bring him a cold beer while he watches football
36. Put a love note in her purse

37. Hold hands
38. Take showers together and wash each other’s back (or whole body)
39. Look deeply into your lover’s eyes
40. Always kiss goodbye and goodnight
41. Boast about your mate and your relationship to mutual friends
42. Arrange for a babysitter so you can have an unexpected date night
43.  Say how much you love each other even if you think it’s known
44. Use cute pet names for each other
45. Rub your noses together
46. Remember to say thank you (often)
47. Excuse each other’s mistakes
48. Meditate together
49. Sleep in his t-shirt
50. Wash her hair
51. Step outside of traditional gender roles to help each other (Cook dinner for her; take the trash out for him)
52. Verbally reassure your lover
53. Take photographs as a couple
54. Give up the last piece of food on your plate
55. Write a short fairy tale using you and your mate as the characters (Once upon a time…”)
56. Listen more intently
57. Flirt with each other
58. Sing your significant other a love song
59. Get up early to help him/her get ready for work
60. Say “I adore you”
61. Watch a chic flick with her
62. Kiss your mate somewhere you never thought to kiss before (i.e. elbow, knee, toe)
63. Initiate affection (hugs, kisses, spooning)
64. Take good care of yourself so that you’re at your best for the one you love
65. A handmade gift or card
66. Write a sweet message on a fogged-up mirror so he/she will see it after exiting the shower
67. Cook your significant other’s’ favorite meal
68. Feed each other chocolate covered strawberries
69. Cuddle by the fireplace
70. Laugh and have fun with each other
71. Rub his/her feet
72. Create a scrapbook together
73. Start a hobby together
74. Dance indoors to your favorite song
75. Ask about each other’s day

Healthy relationships survive because both partners keep trying. They know the secret–that love is a verb. Loving your spouse or lover means taking action to help keep love (the feeling) alive and flourishing.

What are some of your favorite ways to show love? What are some ways you’d like your partner to show love? Do you agree that love (the action) is as important as love (the feeling).

Related Relationship Goodies

Please share this post to show your support: Tagged as: Healthy relationship, Love

View the original article here