Note: I originally published this as a guest post over at Marc and Angel Hack Life.
A common misconception is that positive thinking depends on one’s ability to “fool the mind” into believing something is better than it actually is.
For those who hold this belief, positive thinking techniques may seem like a load of crap. After all, who wants to waste time with self-induced brainwashing?
If positive thinking was nothing more than a ploy to pull the wool over your own eyes, I wouldn’t bother. But it is so much more. So I want to share some facts about the value of deliberately guiding your thoughts and the best way to do so successfully.
Positive thinking means choosing thoughts that feel good rather than allowing outside elements to control the caliber of your thoughts.
It means looking at life experiences from a pleasant perspective and harnessing your power to seize the best in any circumstance.
Brainwashing is defined as “a forcible indoctrination to induce someone to give up basic political, social, or religious beliefs and attitudes and to accept contrasting regimented ideas.”
Unlike brainwashing, positive thinking should never make you feel like you’re forcing yourself to believe lies or to give up ideas that are important to you.
The power of positive thinking is not in distractions from the truth, but in refocusing your attention on beautiful truths that you may take for granted.
Our lives are filled with a variety of experiences, circumstances, people and things. Some trigger positive thoughts and feelings within us while others set off a downward spiral of negativity.
You may be wondering how positive thinking can be implemented when faced with something that is undeniably negative. Try these two basic options: focus elsewhere or focus differently.
1. Focus elsewhere
Focusing elsewhere means you take your attention completely away from the troubling subject to something that feels better. There are times when this is clearly the most positive choice. Here’s an example:
You’re with a group of people who are discussing political hot topics. The discussion gets extremely heated, tension gets high and degrading insults begin to fly.
In a negative situation like this one, you may simply walk away. Circumstances influence your thinking, so it’s sometimes best to step away from the circumstances. You are in control, so you can choose to focus elsewhere by spending your time in a situation that lends itself to positive thinking.
2. Focus differently
Although it’s not always possible to avoid an unpleasant experience, you can decide to bring your conscious awareness to a positive aspect of it. In other words, you can focus differently.
Positive thinking is a choice. You don’t have to focus on the clouds just because it’s a rainy day. You can focus on what the weather was like yesterday or on the day of your wedding or at some other time when you felt it was ideal. You can even focus on the positive benefits of the rain and all the purposes it serves. The flowers, grass and trees are surely pleased to have their thirst quenched.
If you lose your hearing, you could waste your life away with compulsive, negative thoughts about the sounds that you’re missing out on. Or you could apply positive thinking techniques like celebrating the heightened state of your other senses.
You could appreciate and follow in the footsteps of Ludwig Beethoven, Marlee Matlin, Thomas Edison, Helen Keller and other famous hearing impaired people who achieved great success because they didn’t let their disabilities foil their outlook on the possibilities that lay before them.
Neither negative nor positive thinking is likely to spontaneously affect your hearing, but positive thoughts lead to healthy living while negative thoughts encourage endless misery.
Positive thinking is most effective when you choose thoughts that your mind easily accepts as reasonable. Hearing loss is a bit extreme, so how about a more typical example of how to apply positive thinking in the average person’s everyday life?
Let’s say your car breaks down. It is unlikely that a positive thought will change the fact that the car isn’t working. However, you can change the way you approach the situation.
As you put the key in the ignition and notice that the car won’t start, you can get angry, anxious and sad. You can focus on every negative aspect– the high cost of repairs, the time it will take, the inconvenience it will cause. You can go on and on like this until you’ve taken on enough stress to raise your blood pressure to stroke level.
None of these negative thoughts will change the situation, but they will ensure that you feel horrible.
On the other hand, you could focus on an array of positive “what-ifs”: the sexy (or skilled or nice) mechanic who will get you back on the road; the games you can play on your cell phone as you wait for a tow truck.
You could focus on how reliable the car has been up to this point, or the funny hat that the lady is wearing in the car next to you. None of these simple, positive thoughts change the fact that the car is not working, but they get you thinking in a way that is likely to attract an unexpected opportunity rather than a massive coronary.
You see, positive thinking is not about fooling yourself. It’s about changing your outlook to a different side of reality.
There are always flowers for those who want to see them.
- Henri Matisse
So, what about you? When you’re faced with something upsetting, do you find comfort in guiding your thoughts to a more positive outlook? If not, why not?
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